It's Spring Break. A rainy Spring Break for our area. I have enjoyed the rain, but it's left some little guys inside more than they are used to. It's hard on them. It produces undesirable behaviors. It produces slight bickering (which is new to me).
Despite my efforts to plan fun activities, we've only done them two out of four days I had planned. The reason for distracting me from carrying out our activities comes in a form of one little baby who has decided he only wants to be held while he sleeps. Thankfully he's only decided to do that two days, but it made for two days of a no good rotten mama.
During those two nights I laid in bed and cried to Steven about how I felt. Since Littlest Man took up so much of my time, the older two took advantage of my lack of attention. They bickered. I nagged. They jumped on the couch. I nagged. They got entirely too loud. I nagged. They tried to have fun together. I nagged. I was way too short tempered. I was way too annoyed. I was way too rotten.
I wasn't their fun mom. I wasn't their cuddly mom. I wasn't there patient mom. I wasn't a whole lot of things to them for those two days. Balancing my time between the kids has to be the hardest part of having three kids. I want to be everything to them all the time and not the nagging mom. I want to find a happy medium between giving them the attention they need and the guidance they crave, but with a newborn that attention and guidance gets diverted a bit. I know this time will pass, but feeling like I haven't been the mom I desire to be for them. Thank goodness for grace, because on some days I need a whole lot of it!