Thursday, March 22, 2012

No Good Rotten Mama

It's Spring Break. A rainy Spring Break for our area.  I have enjoyed the rain, but it's left some little guys inside more than they are used to.  It's hard on them.  It produces undesirable behaviors.  It produces slight bickering (which is new to me).

Despite my efforts to plan fun activities, we've only done them two out of four days I had planned.  The reason for distracting me from carrying out our activities comes in a form of one little baby who has decided he only wants to be held while he sleeps.  Thankfully he's only decided to do that two days, but it made for two days of  a no good rotten mama.

During those two nights I laid in bed and cried to Steven about how I felt.  Since Littlest Man took up so much of my time, the older two took advantage of my lack of attention.  They bickered.  I nagged.  They jumped on the couch.  I nagged. They got entirely too loud.  I nagged.  They tried to have fun together.  I nagged.  I was way too short tempered.  I was way too annoyed.  I was way too rotten.

I wasn't their fun mom.  I wasn't their cuddly mom.  I wasn't there patient mom.  I wasn't a whole lot of things to them for those two days.  Balancing my time between the kids has to be the hardest part of having three kids.  I want to be everything to them all the time and not the nagging mom.  I want to find a happy medium between giving them the attention they need and the guidance they crave, but with a newborn that attention and guidance gets diverted a bit. I know this time will pass, but feeling like I haven't been the mom I desire to be for them.  Thank goodness for grace, because on some days I need a whole lot of it!


Alice said...

oh you mean you are a normal person who sometimes has a bad day...your kids won't remember. At least I don't think my kids do when I have them about 5 out of 7 days. I hope you get out of your funk and realize that you are 99% of the time an amazing mother!!! And kids need to be able to entertain themselves sometimes without their momma :-)

Kristy said...

Amen! Having a third one that's a newborn is hard. I'm two weeks ahead of you and things are getting better, but it's still hard some days. Not to mention we've been dealing with the flu. I feel so bad on "tv" days. I feel like all the big girls do is watch tv while I tend to the newborn. You're right though, this time will pass ... faster than we know. You're a great mom! Hang in there!