Monday, January 15, 2018

Grumbling, Hurts and Healing

Sometimes I look at my life and fail to see the blessings.  Pretty much like the past generations that grumbled.  I am the same at times.  The missed goals...dreams that didn't come true...and visions that didn't hold true.  When you can see the mountains in the distance and know that you haven't even hit the road headed in yet...

It hurts.

This fast pace, get it done quick, stop to compare to your neighbor world we live in, it messes with you.  We have access to so much, at all times.  Access to others like no one other time in history.  The information and the successes of others in our face here and there and everywhere.  Just when you think you are gaining ground, you look to the side and comparably, you're not anywhere.  People seemingly passing you by...

It hurts.

Certainly, you have been here.  A life event hits.  On the outside those you see are moving forward, receiving blessing, laughing and enjoying life.  Then, there's you.  Sitting. Stuck.  You are not good enough.  You do not measure up.  No one believes in you.  You don't fit the part.  All your shortcomings.  All your failures.  It's all so much to hold onto and carry on with life.  Those lies.

It hurts.

The sucky part of this is we suffer through this alone.  We entertain the idea that no one, and I mean NO ONE, can possibly understand your misery, your struggle, your hurt.  And most likely, they can't.

Those suggestions sent by Satan, they have meaning.  Those attacks, they mean something too. Their sole purpose is to disarm your life.  Lock up your gifts.  Paralyze you with fears and worthlessness.  They are all lies.  How do you even free yourself from this?

You don't.  Single-handedly there is nothing in your own power that can rid you of this pain.  Only  a complete surrender can free you.  The acceptance that Jesus never intended us to do this alone.  He was the one who took all your hurts, pain, suffering so we could have a Savior who KNEW pain.   A Savior who knows our pain and offers the freedom from it.  He is the only author of complete healing.  He is the truth behind all lies.  He sets you free. Gives you rest.  Heals all wounds.  He offers correction without condemning.  He is the gentle whisper of love and light and hope.

He tells you that you are not only enough, but you are called.  You have purpose.  You have love.  You are life.  You are wonderfully made.  Hand-crafted. One of kind.  It's only when you accept THIS truth that the screaming lies in your head, begin to dull down to an inside voice and then a whisper and then a nothing.  You learn to dismiss those lies and pick up truth.  You hold onto it.  You speak it over your life.  Then you come to a day, that you were promised, when you look back on those attacks and see your beautiful Savior was there the whole time.  You see the only real, true love a person has ever been offered.  And you listen to This is Me from The Greatest Showman and you recognize that God's healing resounds so much in the song.  Bumps and bruises are not so bad when a Savior has already gone before.



And those hurts.  They soften.

I spend time writing this to you because there are times you draw close to God for some pruning and the Enemy is clipping right at your heels.  My refuge is only found in the quietness of His Voice, His Word and His People who just love.  If you read this and think, "I need freedom," I want to pray for you.  I want you to know that you are not alone.  He is proven to hold His Word true and it will not come back void.

Scripture I have stood on during a trial:

But I trust in your unfailing love.  I will rejoice because you have rescued me. (Psalm 13:5-6) 

If you cling to your life, you will lose it, but if you give up your life for me, you will find it. (Matthew 10:39)

Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you. (Psalm 9:10)

You are a shield around me, O Lord, you bestow glory on me and lift up my head.  To the Lord I cry aloud, and he answers me from his holy hill. I lie down and sleep; I wake again because the Lord sustains me. (Psalm 3:3-5)

...so is my word that goes out from my nouth: It will not return to me empty, but it will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it. (Isaiah 55:11)

Friday, January 12, 2018

Just a Little Pruning

It's been a long time friends.

Life has been a season of busy, crazy, survival mode at times, and major pruning.  I have grown, messed up, focused on the wrong things, been pruned and overall taken some painful hits to shed some of me that needed to go.  Basically, daily renewing my mind to focus.  Focus on the right things.  The path set out for me.  It's gonna be different than the path set out for others.

Do you know how HARD that is to accept at times???

We have so many places to turn to...so many social media avenues...so many areas to compare ourselves to all in the good name of seeing how we measure up.  What the heck?!?!?

It can be exhausting.

For the past two years, my church has asked us to lay down a few things in January for 21 Days.  Given what I do (coaching people through 30 days of health and wellness) my initial thought was food.  It's what most people do in regards to a fast.  So...if everybody else is doing it, then I'm doing it too.  NOPE.  Your path, Lord.  Not my own.  Search my heart.  What needs to go?

I got an answer.  An answer I really didn't like.

NO SPENDING MONEY ON CONVENIENCE (insert the biggest emoji crying face here)!!!

Here's the deal. Pruning SUCKS.  The whole process is not fun, BUT...what it produces is so, SO beautiful.  And I need some pruning in this area.


Here's my story...

We moved into a home (that we are remodeling) about 4 months ago. We did this in the busiest season our family has ever known.  I coped with some Jesus and some convenience.  Sounds really Holy right?  I mean, I mentioned I coped with Jesus, but did you catch it?  I coped with SOME Jesus and SOME convenience.  It's that SOME part that is the problem.  God is not having me serve two masters, and over time that convenience thing kept winning out...making my life as easy as possible...comfortable...convenient.  Even typing it doesn't sound THAT bad of a problem, except anything I'm seeking that isn't after God's own heart is surely going to end in some heartache for me...and those around me.

For the next 21 days, I'm stripping my convenient go-tos and replacing them with prayer.  It is taking me some intentional looks inside WHY I feel overwhelmed and going to a place of refuge and heart searching by my One True King instead of searching for a way to solve my own problem.   WHY?  Because when I look to solve my own issues within my own means, it demonstrates an ugly part of my pride.  And, THAT my friends, is a problem I need a doctor to fix...My doctor, Jesus (like kinda kidding, but mostly not on that).

A few little verses (among many) that I have focused on this week (and God is using to prune me)...

Matthew 9:12 For it is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick."

Proverbs 4:23 Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.

Proverbs 3:9 Honor the Lord with your wealth and with the best part of everything you produce.

Matthew 6:21 Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be.

Psalm 4:8 In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, O Lord, will keep me safe.