Becoming a SAHM Part II

If you haven't read Part I, go here.

One thing I've learned in my 30 years on this Earth is if life is getting full, ask for help.  My life was full.  Overflowing with busyness.  I knew it was time to make the decision to stay home.  I asked God for help.  Financially, this wasn't going to be done on our own.  Steven and I have always trusted that God is our source.  We also give ten percent of our gross income (our tithe) to the church we attend.  God's word clearly states, that you can't out give Him (Malachi 3:10-11).  It was time Steven and I trusted Him completely with our finances.  Standing on God's Word and faith, we made the decision that I would not renew my contract for the 09-10 school year.

Shortly after we made the decision for me to quit my job, my sister-in-law and Steven's twin brother, announced they were having a baby.  Since I was going to be staying home, they asked if I would be willing to keep their future son, Chunky Monkey.  This was a huge relief to us.  We knew that Steven's income alone would not completely support the lifestyle we lived.  The opportunity to keep my future nephew provided us with additional income.  Even though the amount would not cover the full cost of my lost income, it was a start.  God was showing us His faithfulness to our family.

We did have one way figured out to free up more income.  Something we had decided to do on our own.  Yes, we were trusting God to provide in ways we couldn't provide for ourselves, but we also planned. Most teachers only teach for 9 months of the year, yet receive a paycheck year round.  That way we don't go without any form of income during June, July, and part of August.  Although I had not renewed my contract, I would still continue to be paid until August of 2009 when my official contract ended.  Steven and I decided to take my summer paychecks (all 3 given out in June), and pay off both of our cars.

Things were going pretty well.  Steven and I were feeling confident that we would be okay financially, but I was starting to experience a little self-doubt.  Clearing out my classroom became a very difficult task.  I would find myself crying just because I took down bulletin board set.  When it came time to clear out my desk, I completely lost it.  For seven years a huge part of my identity was wrapped up in being a teacher.  I loved telling people my profession, and I was getting ready to lose that.  My heart wanted to be at home with my children, but my head was telling me I would no longer have a connection to an adult world.  I felt I would be looked down upon from those who did work outside the home.  The day I moved my personal teaching materials (about 15 boxes) out of my classroom, I cried again.  Even though I knew I was doing the right thing, closing that chapter in my life was difficult.

Looking back, I see how ridiculous I was being.  Change used to be very hard for me.  I'm a big planner, and it's hard to plan for the unknown.  However, I've learned to plan as best you can, but not to get in the way of God's plan.  You see, He had even more plans for us.  Big plans.  Plans that amaze me still to this day.  But, I'll share more on that tomorrow.  I wouldn't want to bore you too much!