The List

My 'to do list' was unreal today.  Unreal.  Only Superwoman herself could accomplish a list like I had going on.  A list that covered two pages.  I woke up stressed just thinking about The List, immediately got started on The List, and then realized it could be worse.  I could be working full time as a teacher AND have The List waiting for my weekend work.  Not to mention A List that would be sitting on my desk at work for things that would have to be done Monday morning.  Stress, stress, stress.  And that my friends, is why I quit my job.  Stress, stress, stress.  Well that, and three little ones who've stolen my heart.  Those little thieves!

All this thinking about stress, and lists, and teaching got me thinking about one story in particular that happened on a Friday.  I remember this one specifically, because it drew a pretty large crowd.  For a brief moment I was a star.  Celebrity is more like it.  Okay, okay not exactly a celebrity, but people were staring.  Mouths agape is disbelief.  Here's what happened...

I was sitting with my class in the cafegymatorium (cafeteria/gymnasium/auditorium) waiting for Rise and Shine to begin.  All of a sudden I've got a parent about three inches away from my face, mad as...well, I don't know, he was just mad; face all red, breathing hard, and having difficulty controlling his tone he said, "Is Jeffrey going to get to help with the Kindergarten today or what?" 

You see, his son, Jeffrey had a huge issue with turning in work.  Let's be honest, he had a huge issue with doing work.  Never did it.  At the end of every day, I would (by request of his father) help him go through all the work he didn't do, organize him, and help him load it in his backpack.  Then, I would meet his father outside to verbally go over all of his work that needed to be completed.  The next day, he would walk in class with very little finished. What was finished would be in his father's handwriting.  Reminder:  I taught fourth grade!!!   Kids that are 9 and 10 years old.  Not babies!

So after months and months of Jeffrey and his father proving that I was only enabling the behavior, I told the father that I would no longer spend my time fishing for work from his son.  He could either do his work, or not.  His choice.  However, I would set up a reward system for him.  If he could complete all of his work, and get it turned in on time for one week, he could spend 30 minutes with a Kindergarten class being a helper.  Jeffrey was really excited about this.  The first three days he miraculously turned in every piece of work.  The fourth day he walked in without any work at all.  I was bummed for him, but a deal's a deal.  I don't budge on deals.

So back to Friday at Rise and Shine...

"Is Jeffrey going to get to help with the Kindergarten today or what?" 

"Unfortunately, Mr. Irate, Jeffrey didn't turn in any of his work yesterday."

"That wasn't his fault.  His mom picked him up, brought him home to me.  She refused to let him work on his homework in the car.  She even kept his back pack in her car and I had to track her down to get it."

"Well, that sounds a bit odd.  I'll call his mom today to verify what you're saying, but as of now Jeffrey didn't hold up his end of the bargain. He's not going to get the reward."

At this point, a l-a-r-g-e crowd had gathered in the hallway where I had stepped out to speak to Mr. Irate.  People weren't just staring, they were gawking.  Hard.  I even had one former parent step in and ask if I was alright.  To which, Mr. Irate kindly answered for me, "Why wouldn't she be?  She's happy my kid isn't getting his reward!"  Wasn't that kind of him?

"Mr. Irate, that is absurd.  I was the one who offered Jeffrey this reward.  No other child in my class gets a reward for turning in their work.  It's expected of them.  This was something offered to Jeffrey to help motivate him.  I'm sorry he chose not to do what was expected of him."

"IT WASN'T HIS FAULT!!!"

"That may be how you view it, but I highly doubt his mother would refuse to let him do his homework let alone keep his back pack from him.  In fact, when he's with his mother, he comes back with some of his work in his own handwriting.  Not done by his mother.  I will verify your story with her, but I don't think they will match up.  If you are telling me the truth, I'll be more than happy to rework this reward with Jeffrey."

"Forget it. He's not going to do any work for you for the rest of the year, and I don't blame him!"

"I'm sorry you have such low expectations for Jeffrey.  However, I will expect work from him until the last day of school.  If he doesn't do it, then you should expect F's on his report card.  That's just life.  You get what you put into something."

Never in my life had I spoken to a parent like this before, but I had HAD it!  I was done with the excuses, the lies, the 'baby'ing.  I marched right into my assistant principal's office and filled her in on the conversation (along with a few parents who had witnessed the conversation).  Mr. Irate received a phone call that day telling him he was no longer allowed to discuss Jeffrey directly with me.  He would have to go through a principal or counselor first.  Funny how he never contacted them.  Jeffrey never turned in his work either.  Sad.  Just plain sad, but a good reminder on days like this.  The List isn't seeming so bad now...