Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Not Superwoman

After announcing Sunday that #4 was on the way, I had a sweet friend refer to me as Superwoman for running a half pregnant (Thanks, Alison.  You know how to make a girl feel awesome). Unfortunately, I need to make a few things very clear here.  I am nowhere near Superwoman.  Unless Superwoman forgets where she puts her keys, loses a child in a school assembly, and has uber dusty furniture.  If all of those things are true, then YES!  I am Superwoman.

So here's the real truth behind my 13.1 mile race on Sunday.

First off, I haven't been able to run over 4 miles in a month to a month in a half.  My knee has been giving me so much problems at mile 3 that I can only tough it out until mile 4. Then I throw in the towel.  That was a set back.

Couple that with trying to train with the bestie and not being able to keep up a conversation because I was so out of breath.  BAM!  I realize.  Holy Smokes!  I am pregnant!!!  Set back #2.

I'll skip all the details in between so you don't have to sort through all of my junk.  You just need to know that up until Saturday night I wasn't even sure if I was going to run/walk the race.  My mind kept playing ping-pong between yes-no, yes-no, yes-no.  I'm fairly certain Steven and Erica wanted to check me into a psychiatric facility for schizophrenia.  They heard it all.  BUT...

Here's what got me...Could I realistically finish the race safely? 

The answer was easy.  Yes, I could finish the race.  My whiny self just didn't want to finish the race.  I wanted to use the pregnancy and my knee as an excuse because I knew I would not be able to finish the race in 2 hours like I'd planned.  Since 'Like I Planned' wasn't going to happen, I wanted to quit.

How many times do I ask my kids not to quit?  How many times do I say, "When the going gets tough, the tough get going."  I needed to prove to myself that circumstances do not define me.  I needed to get over my pride of being a faster runner.  I needed to get over the fact that people would pass me, I wouldn't be passing them.  I needed to get over the fact that I had limitations.

Let me tell you.  I finished that race in 2 hours and 58 minutes and WALKED about 6.5 miles of it.  It was humbling.  I mean I am stuffed full of humble pie.  Like cannot get another bite in.  People were passing me left and right.  I was walking when everyone else was running.  I took 4, FOUR, potty stops during the course.  I learned a lot during that 3 hours, and I want to share some revelations with you...
  • Walking 6.5 miles briskly is really difficult.  The soles of my feet feel like stone bruises, my hip flexors and lower back were on fire, and my butt is out of this world tender!  
  • Running and walking allowed me the opportunity to see way more than if I was running for time.  I got to high five every single kid with their hand out and read every sign. (I need to do a little repenting because I also told every kid their high five was the best)  The high fives and signs were cracking me up.
  • Runner's stink.  I have major pregnancy nose right now.  I can smell anything a mile away.  So for 2 hours and 58 minutes I smelled all sorts of funk.  One lady's sign said "1 and 100 people poop their pants while running".  My nose can attest to that.  I caught whiffs of poop, B.O., mildew, and every ethnic smell in between.  At times I was gagging.  However, those smells did encourage me to keep moving faster.  So for that I am grateful.
  • Watch what you say and how you think of yourself.  About mile 11, a group of girls jogged passed me as I was taking a walk break.  They were jogging at a snail's pace, taking up a large space and bumping people that were walking so they could stay side by side.  As the girl bumps into me she says, "All these walkers are WEARING ME OUT!"  Whew!  I almost let her have it.  I was furious.  First off, did she know that I would SMOKE her in any other race? (Told you I have some pride issues to work on) Did she know that if she ran faster, she wouldn't be near walkers?  Did she know that the lady next to me that was 300+ lbs was dying to just walk out this race?  It reminded me that no matter where you finish in the race, people are doing their best.  Run for you, and encourage people even if they are in your way.  I also learned that I should have punched her in the face, because I am still mad about it.  Pray for me.
  • If you have the urge to pee, just go.  Don't assume there will be another porta potty at the next mile marker.  At mile 9 I sorta needed to pee, but didn't want to stop running.  Instead, I thought I'll walk when I get to mile 10 and go to the bathroom there.  Nope, no mile 10 pee pee stops.  Mile 11 passes.  No bathroom.  I had to go so bad so I thought, "I'll run until I get to the next porta potty."  Uh, HUGE mistake.  Started running and started tinkling in my pants.  Yes, that happened.  Little dribbles.  So awesome.  I walked until mile 12 where I finally found a bathroom.  It was so bad I almost asked the people in Heritage Hills neighborhood if I could use their restroom.  
Through all of the wishy-washy thinking I am so thankful I completed this race.  It took a lot of endurance and mental toughness.  I have not ran by myself in years.  Being out there alone for that long allowed for a lot of thinking and praying.  Just thinking about that race, I get so emotional.  Even with the crappy time, I am the most proud of myself for finishing this race than any other race I have completed before.  This was something special.

Honestly, this was not so much about me as it was about what Christ has done for me and in me.  I had two very popular scriptures that kept replaying every time self-doubt crept in while I was on that course.

I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
Philipians 3:14

I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.
Phillipians 4:13
This is what kept me going.  I have a capable body.  God has blessed me with health.  I thought of all the people who would love to be in my shoes.  I thought of this video and story.  Get ready.  It's a tear jerker.

Just in case the video doesn't automatically show up, you can watch it here.

With that, I need you to know I am no Superwoman.  I have been equipped with strength.  I am the daughter of the Most High God.  I am blessed.  For one moment, I finally decided to put my mind in the same frame as what God says about me and completed what God knew I could do.  Just as this father did for his son, but in a much higher magnitude.


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