Since November I have been struggling with severe knee pain while running. It'll begin at mile 2 or before. I can feel my IT band tightening and BAM! Suddenly there is stabbing pain on the outside of my knee. It is frustrating.
Most of you know how competitive I am with myself. I don't mind if others beat me, but only if I have given it my all. With this inconvenient knee pain, I've had to really take a step back in challenging myself. It is frustrating.
My girl time involves of running. There is nothing like an early morning run for an hour or two followed by a big 'ol breakfast with a bestie. Not being able to run far enough to constitute a big 'ol breakfast...It is frustrating.
So there's a few of my whines and belly aches about my knee. It all really hit the fan on Saturday. The biggest belly aching of all is about to come out. The nasties of my attitude is about to show. I hope you're ready for me to unleash the beast.
I took off a whole week of running over Spring Break. This past weekend, we were scheduled to do 8 miles. At mile 3 I had to stop. Limiting my partner as well. Began running again at mile 4, then finally stopped for good at mile 5. I felt so defeated and was trying to keep the tears in. My mind went nowhere else other than negativity and defeat.
How are you going to complete 13.1 if you can't get passed 3?
You can't do this?
You will never beat your PR time.
You should quit.
You should find someone else to run in your place.
It hurt. I came home from that run and cried. Cried like a baby. Over a knee. It seriously happened.
At times like this I am thankful for my wonderful husband who comforts and listens. He didn't offer any advice. Just comforted and listened and got me some ice.
That night we had church. I love our church, but sitting there waiting for service to start my knee was killing me from being in one position. Standing up for praise and worship was not fun. Going through the songs and focusing on what is truly important, my mind cleared and I was able to have true wisdom poured into me.
My circumstances do not define who I am or how my health is at the moment.
I will run this race even if I have to walk half of it.
I will get over the fear of going through a long race without my trusty side kick. I will go at it alone.
During the race I will spend my time focusing on strength from God.
I will have to learn how to get music on my phone. (I never run with headphones...Erica and I talk the entire time)
I will get over the original time I had set in my head and do the best with what I have been given.
I will not be defeated.
I don't know what you are going through. It could be something as basic and babyish as what I'm dealing with or it could be BIG. Although my race in April is not life altering, it is a moment that will alter my thinking. I refuse to let the negativity run me.
I pray that you will not be satisfied with living on the fumes of what God did in your life yesterday but that every day will be a new chance to encounter God in a fresh new way. I pray you will realize that your relationship with God is only as strong as your most recent encounter with Him. I pray that you won't be content with hearing about how others have walked with God powerfully but that you will walk powerfully with Him yourself.
Steven Furtick, Greater
So whether I run the whole thing or walk a bit I plan on spending that time to encounter God in a fresh new way. Activating a strength that can only come from Him.
On a lesser note, I will now accept applications on how to get music on my phone.
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