Balance and Presence and All That Stuff

I like to juggle.  Who am I kidding?  I suck at juggling.  I don't like to juggle.  The thought of it sounds cool, but the balls start flying and I get all anxious.  Anxious about the WHAT IF! 

What if I drop a ball?

What if I drop all the balls?

What if someone sees me drop the balls?

What if they laugh?

What if...what if...what if...

This, in theory sounds crazy.  Stressing out about juggling balls, but in real life  this is REAL.  I wear a lot of different hats, and if you are like 99.99999% of the American population, you wear a lot of hats too.  Case in point, it's 8:00am and I have already been a workout partner, a friend, a cook, a hair stylist, a tutor, a butt wiper, you get the point.  A lot of stuff has happened in the 3 short hours I have been awake. No doubt, there's a lot of other stuff that I still have to do, and will forget to do.  It's inevitable.

When the overwhelming feeling of all the jobs, all the chores, all the things I need to get done well up in my anxious self, I have to STOP.  Easier said than done.  Really.  I have to not only stop, but tell myself to stop, then follow my own directions and prioritize. 

Almost always I find myself in an anxious mode when I let life run it's course in my head.  I get distracted.  I forget what I'm doing.  I start something else. Get distracted. Forget what I'm doing again.  Pick up something else. Get distracted. Then BAM!!!  It's bedtime and I have all these half done jobs and nothing gets checked off my mental list.

There's my problem number one.  I keep a mental list instead of an actual tangible list where I can cross things off.  Problem #2?  I forget to be present in what I'm doing.

Presence is the very key for me living a balanced life.  I feel anxious when I let my thoughts and to-dos run wild in my head, instead of focusing and being present. Over the last two years, I remind myself often to be present in my activities.  In the time with my kids.  In the time I spend working.  In the time I spend being a friend.  In the time I spend with God.  In the time I spend at church.  In the time I spend being a wife.  Sounds super great, right? Uhhhh...notice I said I have spent TWO years working on this!  I am a multi-tasker by nature so the art of being present is something I work on DAILY.  Funny thing is, when I practice being present, I am not anxious.  I get WAY more done, and my family is happier. 

So today, I'm practicing presence...again. Something tells me I will be working on this tomorrow too.

And, because I work on a better me for these guys (and I like to show off my kids and nephews like trophies) you get a pic of the Torres Kids!

Attitude of Gratitude

Yesterday I had a leadership meeting with my business to map out our plan for the remaining 4 months of the year.  Before we began, we took a moment to focus on the art of being grateful.

When you really think about it, how often are we truly grateful?

Reality check!!!!  Not often enough for me.

Case in point...

We have 6 living humans in this household.  The laundry is unreal.  UNREAL I tell you!!!  Too many people in too many activities wearing too many clothes.  It adds up so fast.  And to be really honest, it drives me batty.  Laundry and dishes...don't even get me started on the dishes...

I digress.

We leave tomorrow for a little weekend trip.  Super fun, right?  YES!  Totally looking forward to it.  However, the laundry needs to be done.  So does grocery shopping.  So does house cleaning.  So does feeding kids. So does work. It goes on and on and on.  I walked into my bedroom and was instantly frustrated with the laundry staring back at me.

I kid you not, it said, "Muahahahahaha....you won't fold us.  There's too much of us and only one of you."

Okay, so that didn't really happen, but it felt like it.  Seriously.  I felt defeated by laundry, and chores, and groceries, and kids.  Hello, basket case!

Stop.  I had to stop.  Stop and think about what all these little things truly meant.

I have clean clothes.  Which means I have running water and electricity in my own home.  That we own.  I have money to buy soap to wash the clothes.  Our family has many options of clothes to wear.  For every season.  The stains on the clothes are the evidence of the very freedoms we have.  Freedom to eat out.  Freedom to play sports. Which means we have a means to pay for food and activities.  The list goes on and on and on.

When you start to put it that way, life doesn't seem to defeat me as much.  The attitude of gratitude immediately turns my frame of reference towards a place of victory.  So there, Pile 'O Laundry!  I will fold you and you will like it.

Then my kids will put you away!

When Good is Good, But Great Is Better

TMI Alert...

I LOVE nursing!  I love the closeness, the cuddles, the baby breaths on my skin...I LOVE IT!!!

I HATE the breastpump.  The boob squeezing, tube sucking, devil machine.  It is awful.

Anytime I can avoid using the pump, I will.

Nursing is good.  Breastpump...ehhhhhhh.

All this glorious information is pertinent, I promise.

Yesterday my bestie and I scheduled a morning run, but the littliest Torres wasn't up just yet.  I would have rather nursed her, yet I decided to pump so I could run.  As I was getting ready to lace up my shoes, I heard her playing in the room.

Dang IT!!!  I could have saved myself a pumping session!!!

As I poured the milk into the bottle for Steven so he could feed her, Little Miss got all jumpy and said, "Mama, can I please feed her?!?!?"

She got her wish...

My plan of wanting to nurse the littlest Torres was good, but laying that down gave me the opportunity to see that good is good, but great was better.  I got to go run and Little Miss got to feed her sister for some bonding time.

This is true in almost every aspect of life.  Often times we buy into the lie that what we have is good, so looking for great is wrong.  NO!  Looking for great is what we are called to do.

Let me clarify one thing here.  If you're reading this and think, "My spouse is good, but I need great,"  STOP. RIGHT. THERE.  Your spouse is great.  Maybe you haven't helped uncover the greatness in them.  So, more than likely, the problem is you and YOU should lay down your good and become great for YOUR spouse.

But, since we aren't talking about that, I'm moving on.  I had to make that one little thing clear.

I can give you countless example after example of how this has proved true in our families' lives.  Jobs, children, church, school...all these things we have experienced good.  Then something was laid down before us.  We almost stepped over it because, after all, what we have is good.  Why would we trade it in for something else?  What if the new isn't as good as the old?  What if we weren't supposed to pick up the new in the first place?  What if...what if...what if...

We let fear take over.  Fear paralyzes us from living out our true calling or potential.  Pick up the dang thing!  Let yourself see that good is good, but great is better.  You can have great.  There is nothing wrong with saying, "What I have right now is good.  In fact, I love it.  BUT, what I'm picking up will take me to a place in life I could have never imagined."

Don't walk in fear today, or tomorrow for that matter.  Walk through whatever you need to, but let fear fall to wayside on the way.  Greater is He who is in you than who is in the world (1 John 4:4).  You have already won.  Just walk it out.

Willingness To Be Misunderstood

Have you ever put yourself out there only to find out you were misunderstood?  Yeah, me neither.

I kid.  I put myself out there a lot, and I'm okay with being misunderstood.  A few years ago?  Never.  I would have really cared about what people thought of my motives instead of focusing on the true nature of my motives.

That's the thing with living outside of your comfort zone.  People often misunderstand your heart and your intentions.  It happens to us all.  The more you step out of your comfort zone, the more opportunities you have to be misunderstood. 

I've found this to be true time and time again.  Running my own organization through Arbonne offers lots of moments where I am misunderstood. I'm okay with this. I'm okay with knowing, and outsiders not knowing, the beautiful stories of people who I have partnered with as they worked on better health, better skin, or better finances.  They know my heart.   As for others who see a skewed view of who I am or what I do, it's okay!  The truth will always be made light.  It is the same for you.

We can walk through life and try to prove who we are to the world.  That's not needed, and often times we are trying so hard to prove who we are, we unintentionally lose sight of ourselves and our passions.  The truth is we have already been proved through Christ.  We have a list of all the things God says we are...friends, heirs, wonderfully made, conquerors, and many more.  All the more reasons why we need to protect our hearts, live with good intentions, shine a light for Him, and have the willingness to be misunderstood.  And, might I add the willingness to be misunderstood without putting up a fight.

Now, if you really want to know about what I do and how I came to be apart of Arbonne, I really encourage you to listen to my story tonight at 8:30pm CST via a conference call.  The flyer below has the dial in number, and reference number you will be prompted to enter.  Then you just listen.  

Whether you are curious of how one builds an organization or what Arbonne is, this is a time to discover the answers.  It's also a time where you can be completely nosy and nobody knows!!!  Like a fly on the wall.

(screen shot the info for faster reference)

Menu Monday...Or Some Version Of It

It's been a really long time since I have typed our weekly menu.  I meal plan for each week.  It helps keep our grocery bill under control and keeps my mind from stressing each day on what to feed the children. Seriously.  If I don't meal plan, there is a Feed the Children campaign that instantly begins at my house.  Children laying on the floor writhing in pain from stomach cramps.  They are dying.  Dying from starvation.  You know, because they JUST ate 2 hours ago!

If they only knew...

So, I meal plan.  It keeps my sanity.  Here are some options for you this week or to file away.  Generally, these are fast meals because, like the rest of America, we are on the go.  Plus, cooking with a baby on your hip and a 3 year old racing cars under your feet, all the while helping two older kids with homework is a job in and of itself.  Just typing that out made me exhausted.  It's a glamorous life up in here!

Veggie Loaded Spaghetti
Fast Tips:  I usually have ground turkey cooked, seasoned and frozen so I can toss it in the fridge to thaw and then dump it in the spaghetti.  Veggies are pre cut as well.  Toss in and boil noodles.

Make It Clean: Swap out regular noodles for Gluten Free.  Most GF options are made with corn or white potato. Neither of those are good choices for you.  We opt for brown rice pasta. A lot of my clients opt for quinoa pasta. Both great choices.

Greek Tacos
Fast Tips: This one is pretty fast itself. Less than 20 minute cook time.  However, pre-cooking and seasoning your beef will speed it up.

Make It Clean: Grass fed beef is the way to go or swap out for free range ground turkey.  Serve over brown rice chips, or use a brown rice tortilla.  This dish, I don't skip the feta. It makes it so yummy!!!

Southwestern Quinoa Salad 
Fast Tips: This can be made 1-2 days ahead of time.  Often times I buy a rotisserie chicken from Sprouts or Whole Foods to shred the meat.  The recipe doesn't call for chicken, but we LOVE it.

Make It Clean: Organic non-GMO corn is the way to go or skip it altogether.

Honey Lime Chicken Skewers
Fast Tips: Pre-marinade and throw it on the grill.

Make It Clean: Substitute Bragg's Liquid Aminos for soy sauce, coconut oil for vegetable oil, and use a raw local organic honey.

Hopefully, these four items help you out a bit.  And, just to keep it real, we'll be hitting up Chick-fil-a this week too.  Holla if you love some CFA!!!!

Things I Thought I Never

I've never had obedient easy children from birth.  All of our kiddos have come out with strong personalities and boldness in their ideas and opinions.  The first two were fairly challenging in stages.  Times arose where we wondered if we were fighting the good fight or just fighting a losing battle.  However, we stayed the course and within months of working to change behaviors, we were able to see the fruits of our labors with our older kids.

We really patted ourselves on the backs.   

Look at our amazing parenting skills.  We've got this thing figured out.  Wow!  We've really molded these kids into strong leaders.  I should pass on our life lessons to the other parents who are struggling with strong-willed kids.

Ha!  So naive! We were doing so well.  Mastered the temper tantrums, shaped their wills, and then BAM!  Chubby Cheekers came along. From birth he was our spirited little guy.  His funnies are funny, but his challenges are challenging.  Like 'put me in a straight jacket and take me to the looney bin' challenging.

Over his 3.5 years, we have learned the power of ultra consistency.  The power of standing our ground even when it's not popular.  The power in recognizing his unique gifts even though they can be embarrassing (he is an entertainer at heart).

Exhibit A:

We've also learned the power of letting things go! He may embarrass me more times than I would like, but his behavior is more related to the heart of a boy who likes mischief and not a true heart issue of malice, ill-will, disobedience, or disrespect.

Don't get me wrong!  We deal with a LOT of heart issues.  We take 1 step forward and 3 steps back on heart issues.  In this on-going struggle, we've learned that progress is progress.  Not to focus on the times we feel like we're losing ground, but the wins we have together.  We've learned to celebrate his fun-loving craziness.  Look less on what others see in our family and look more towards what we can do to turn out a responsible, fun-loving, compassionate leader.

Enough of the parenting lessons we've learned over time, and time to celebrate Chubby Cheekers.  I'd like to call this tribute, 'Things I NEVER Thought I Would Need To Say'.

• If you want to go to gymnastics you'll need to put on underwear.  Nobody wants to see your berries while stretching and flipping.
• We don't lick people.  They aren't lollipops.  
• Growling is only okay when playing zoo, not when answering adults.
• Put your pants on!  Underwear is optional.  Pants are not.
• You can't wear your sister's swimsuit.  Yours is in the bathtub from last night.
• You can't pee in the front yard. Only in the back.

These are just a few that have happened as of late.  Now I'm wishing I would have kept a book.  He's quite the character that offers a lot of daily laughs.

All Together

I love this picture.  It was the first time we had all four kids in one pic and 3 out of 4 were smiling (Little Bit doesn't count. She was too young and the creepy baby stare was a good look for her).  It reminds me that there are times when we may appear to have it all together.  In fact, you appear to have it all together too.  Notice that word 'appear'?

Appearances are deceiving, and you know the problem with appearances?  They STINK!

Everyone is walking around hoping...praying...their appearance looks all together so no one will find out what level of Crazy they are living.  Although, we are all functioning at some level of non-normal. It's what makes us, US!  It makes you, YOU! 

So I'm here to set you straight.  We live in the penthouse of Crazyville.  Most days it's pretty nice in the penthouse.  We've become accustomed to the entertainment provided by our four kids.  Sometimes the entertainment is at the silly things they do, and sometimes the entertainment is on us.  You know, those moments where you have a freak out session, or your child does something utterly humiliating...in public...or worse yet, in front of the many people you admire. We've learned to laugh at our reactions and circumstances (at a much later time 'cause in the moment it ain't so funny).  We've come to realize I won't be a Stepford Wife, and our kids aren't Leave It To Beaver kids.  We are more of the America's Funny Home Videos family.  If any of you know our 3rd child, Chubby Cheekers, you know EXACTLY what I'm talking about.

I really don't have very much else to say.  Basically, I needed to remind you (and I will do it often) that the Torres family does not, and never will, have it all together.  We've just learned to manage what we have to the best of our abilities and let grace take over.  Grace.  That's some good stuff right there!