tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-50592859374337691302024-03-13T19:44:21.933-05:00Torres Tidbitsamanda torreshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08112448562735829311noreply@blogger.comBlogger1092125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5059285937433769130.post-32104551485568116502018-01-15T16:21:00.000-06:002018-01-15T16:21:07.442-06:00Grumbling, Hurts and HealingSometimes I look at my life and fail to see the blessings. Pretty much like the past generations that grumbled. I am the same at times. The missed goals...dreams that didn't come true...and visions that didn't hold true. When you can see the mountains in the distance and know that you haven't even hit the road headed in yet...<br />
<br />
It hurts.<br />
<br />
This fast pace, get it done quick, stop to compare to your neighbor world we live in, it messes with you. We have access to so much, at all times. Access to others like no one other time in history. The information and the successes of others in our face here and there and everywhere. Just when you think you are gaining ground, you look to the side and comparably, you're not anywhere. People seemingly passing you by...<br />
<br />
It hurts.<br />
<br />
Certainly, you have been here. A life event hits. On the outside those you see are moving forward, receiving blessing, laughing and enjoying life. Then, there's you. Sitting. Stuck. You are not good enough. You do not measure up. No one believes in you. You don't fit the part. All your shortcomings. All your failures. It's all so much to hold onto and carry on with life. Those lies.<br />
<br />
It hurts.<br />
<br />
The sucky part of this is we suffer through this alone. We entertain the idea that no one, and I mean NO ONE, can possibly understand your misery, your struggle, your hurt. And most likely, they can't. <br />
<br />
Those suggestions sent by Satan, they have meaning. Those attacks, they mean something too. Their sole purpose is to disarm your life. Lock up your gifts. Paralyze you with fears and worthlessness. They are all lies. How do you even free yourself from this? <br />
<br />
You don't. Single-handedly there is nothing in your own power that can rid you of this pain. Only a complete surrender can free you. The acceptance that Jesus never intended us to do this alone. He was the one who took all your hurts, pain, suffering so we could have a Savior who KNEW pain. A Savior who knows our pain and offers the freedom from it. He is the only author of complete healing. He is the truth behind all lies. He sets you free. Gives you rest. Heals all wounds. He offers correction without condemning. He is the gentle whisper of love and light and hope. <br />
<br />
He tells you that you are not only enough, but you are called. You have purpose. You have love. You are life. You are wonderfully made. Hand-crafted. One of kind. It's only when you accept THIS truth that the screaming lies in your head, begin to dull down to an inside voice and then a whisper and then a nothing. You learn to dismiss those lies and pick up truth. You hold onto it. You speak it over your life. Then you come to a day, that you were promised, when you look back on those attacks and see your beautiful Savior was there the whole time. You see the only real, true love a person has ever been offered. And you listen to This is Me from The Greatest Showman and you recognize that God's healing resounds so much in the song. Bumps and bruises are not so bad when a Savior has already gone before.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe width="320" height="266" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/wEJd2RyGm8Q/0.jpg" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/wEJd2RyGm8Q?feature=player_embedded" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></div>
<br />
<br />
And those hurts. They soften.<br />
<br />
I spend time writing this to you because there are times you draw close to God for some pruning and the Enemy is clipping right at your heels. My refuge is only found in the quietness of His Voice, His Word and His People who just love. If you read this and think, "I need freedom," I want to pray for you. I want you to know that you are not alone. He is proven to hold His Word true and it will not come back void. <br />
<br />
<i>Scripture I have stood on during a trial:</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>But I trust in your unfailing love. I will rejoice because you have rescued me. </i>(Psalm 13:5-6)<i> </i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>If you cling to your life, you will lose it, but if you give up your life for me, you will find it. </i>(Matthew 10:39)<br />
<br />
<i>Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you. </i>(Psalm 9:10)<br />
<br />
<i>You are a shield around me, O Lord, you bestow glory on me and lift up my head. To the Lord I cry aloud, and he answers me from his holy hill. I lie down and sleep; I wake again because the Lord sustains me. </i>(Psalm 3:3-5)<br />
<br />
<i>...so is my word that goes out from my nouth: It will not return to me empty, but it will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it. </i>(Isaiah 55:11)<br />
<br />amanda torreshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08112448562735829311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5059285937433769130.post-55911853813992255252018-01-12T13:40:00.000-06:002018-01-12T15:56:17.029-06:00Just a Little PruningIt's been a long time friends. <br />
<br />
Life has been a season of busy, crazy, survival mode at times, and major pruning. I have grown, messed up, focused on the wrong things, been pruned and overall taken some painful hits to shed some of me that needed to go. Basically, daily renewing my mind to focus. Focus on the right things. The path set out for me. It's gonna be different than the path set out for others.<br />
<br />
Do you know how HARD that is to accept at times???<br />
<br />
We have so many places to turn to...so many social media avenues...so many areas to compare ourselves to all in the good name of seeing how we measure up. What the heck?!?!?<br />
<br />
It can be exhausting.<br />
<br />
For the past two years, my church has asked us to lay down a few things in January for 21 Days. Given what I do (coaching people through 30 days of health and wellness) my initial thought was food. It's what most people do in regards to a fast. So...if everybody else is doing it, then I'm doing it too. NOPE. <i>Your path, Lord. Not my own. Search my heart. What needs to go?</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
I got an answer. An answer I really didn't like. <br />
<br />
NO SPENDING MONEY ON CONVENIENCE (insert the biggest emoji crying face here)!!!<br />
<br />
Here's the deal. Pruning SUCKS. The whole process is not fun, BUT...what it produces is so, SO beautiful. And I need some pruning in this area.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLKRvn2Fj5KLvzNvQEE7asj8_EHg_castYFJXJfCey0sQvriMXXyLkKcRb8w5PHBrlbnPFRzbjyfSJ3bInYuqvbIqAO1-oZz-PNO8QHY9q9XIwKfWZnKdV2BQZaLo7IHyfkiue9JrBlwwE/s1600/Unknown.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="183" data-original-width="275" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLKRvn2Fj5KLvzNvQEE7asj8_EHg_castYFJXJfCey0sQvriMXXyLkKcRb8w5PHBrlbnPFRzbjyfSJ3bInYuqvbIqAO1-oZz-PNO8QHY9q9XIwKfWZnKdV2BQZaLo7IHyfkiue9JrBlwwE/s1600/Unknown.jpeg" /></a></div>
<br />
Here's my story...<br />
<br />
We moved into a home (that we are remodeling) about 4 months ago. We did this in the busiest season our family has ever known. I coped with some Jesus and some convenience. Sounds really Holy right? I mean, I mentioned I coped with Jesus, but did you catch it? I coped with SOME Jesus and SOME convenience. It's that SOME part that is the problem. God is not having me serve two masters, and over time that convenience thing kept winning out...making my life as easy as possible...comfortable...convenient. Even typing it doesn't sound THAT bad of a problem, except anything I'm seeking that isn't after God's own heart is surely going to end in some heartache for me...and those around me. <br />
<br />
For the next 21 days, I'm stripping my convenient go-tos and replacing them with prayer. It is taking me some intentional looks inside WHY I feel overwhelmed and going to a place of refuge and heart searching by my One True King instead of searching for a way to solve my own problem. WHY? Because when I look to solve my own issues within my own means, it demonstrates an ugly part of my pride. And, THAT my friends, is a problem I need a doctor to fix...My doctor, Jesus (like kinda kidding, but mostly not on that). <br />
<br />
A few little verses (among many) that I have focused on this week (and God is using to prune me)...<br />
<br />
Matthew 9:12 <i>For it is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick."</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
Proverbs 4:23 <i>Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
Proverbs 3:9 <i>Honor the Lord with your wealth and with the best part of everything you produce.</i><br />
<br />
Matthew 6:21 <i>Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
Psalm 4:8 <i>In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, O Lord, will keep me safe.</i><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />amanda torreshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08112448562735829311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5059285937433769130.post-16248118948295810092016-10-06T13:18:00.001-05:002016-10-06T13:18:26.544-05:00Living a Life of PassionWe have all been entrusted with something. Maybe for you it's great wealth. Maybe it's your kids. Maybe it's your job. Maybe it's your marriage. Maybe it's all of the above. It's important to recognize even the seemingly insignificant responsibilities and remind ourselves it's our job to move those responsibilities further. You have been entrusted with something, but what are you doing to be entrusted with more?<br />
<br />
I remember a time when you would have asked me that very questions and I would have been like, "Uhhhhhh...(blank stare)...ummmm....(more blank staring)....I don't know." I had not a clue. I had settled for a day to day routine. A way of life that benefited my family. I created a life of selfishness. Me and my family? We're good. Everyone else? Not my responsibility. That's someone else's mess to clean up. I've been called to serve my family. To be a mom. To be a wife. To take care of a home.<br />
<br />
And that my friends is a big pile of POOP!<br />
<br />
All I can say is thank the Good Lord for Church on the Move in Tulsa, OK, great mentors in my life, and having a graceful God who didn't leave me in my fixed mindset. <br />
<br />
Living a life of passion is truly the only way to live. I want you to think of passion like a hunger and thirst. Think about it. Hunger and thirst is natural. It is real. It is intense. Have you ever been hangry??? Hunger and thirst can be painful. It can be a driving force. And lastly, hunger and thirst is a sign of health.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJLaluNgGQd3_3Gii2EhoSuTwpqNudVu128WQ1ccsm_PkOTnVjAoJNdBpP89Qekidfc1PuuTAewe2ZKbOFPcHAMPbsDKHbLPo1nmekKU3-TLUs4KvNt6DVsfLY3F6nZSKsBhMGUsuEqv44/s1600/9001c065b8eaa62a25fd90f474468c97.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJLaluNgGQd3_3Gii2EhoSuTwpqNudVu128WQ1ccsm_PkOTnVjAoJNdBpP89Qekidfc1PuuTAewe2ZKbOFPcHAMPbsDKHbLPo1nmekKU3-TLUs4KvNt6DVsfLY3F6nZSKsBhMGUsuEqv44/s320/9001c065b8eaa62a25fd90f474468c97.jpg" width="300" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
Passion is the same way. It is natural. It is real. Passion is intense. It can be painful. It is a driving force for our actions. Most importantly, it is a sign of health. <br />
<br />
When we forget to live on passion, part of us dies a little. We stop living up to our full potential. We stop growing. We become stagnant. We succumb to a daily grind. A mundane life. Yuck!<br />
<br />
Here are a few tips on growing in your passion I picked up from the 2016 Global Leadership Summit.<br />
<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li><b>Enlarge Your Vision:</b> Are you focusing on maintaining your everyday life or multiplying it? Begin to dream again. Write down those dreams and go for it. Take the risk of failure. Through failure brings growth.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><b>Empower People: </b>Leadership is all around us. If you have kids, you're a leader. If you have friends, you're a leader. If you're a co-worker, you're a leader. If you're a spouse, you're a leader. If you know people, you're a leader. You simply have to rise up and fulfill your role. Begin to build others up. Call out the great aspects of their character or personality. Love on people the way you want to be loved.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><b>Focus On Character: </b>People don't fail for lack of knowledge. We have information at our fingertips unlike any other generation. People fail for a lack of character. Generally, that falls in the arena of self-discipline. Build upon your ability to discipline yourself. </li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><b>Embrace Risk: </b>If you are like me, this one make me uncomfortable. Being an analytical thinker I want to know all outcomes before making a decision. Instead of viewing risk as an enemy to avoid, I had to change my mindset to risk being a friend to love. Comfort and safety are even worse. I have noticed the more I step out in faith (or take a risk), magic happens. I grow a little and a bit more passion begins to spark.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><b>Increase Your Capacity For Pain: </b>If you want to grow, you have to get uncomfortable and increase your capacity for pain. You get a little more vulnerable. What are you doing to increase your capacity for pain so you can grow?</li>
</ul>
<div>
Honestly, none of these 'helpful' tips are fun. I'm not sure I know one person who automatically loved risk and pain, but after they developed a passion they were on fire that cause a tidal wave of change in others. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
So my call to action from you is...</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
You can simply take this info and learn a little, or you can make a decision. A decision to become a Passionary. A person who lives the rest of their life with vision and passion. The best way to live!</div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />amanda torreshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08112448562735829311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5059285937433769130.post-2575367470809054422016-06-20T15:12:00.000-05:002016-06-20T15:12:24.425-05:00Living On Mission: Getting Out of Your Comfortable LifeI can remember the moment so clearly when I missed it. I missed the calling. I missed the opportunity. I failed.<br />
<br />
Walking down Magnificent Mile I saw him. A man so clearly struggling. In a hospital gown pushing a basic metal frame walker, a dried bloody bandaged foot and a complete hopelessness on his face. <br />
<br />
I was called to help this man. I knew it. I knew in my spirit I was to do something. The problem was I didn't know what. I had no cash and no food establishments were nearby. I had a moment of my heart beating so fast and nervousness all over, but talked myself out of it.<br />
<br />
<i>What am I really supposed to do? How can I even begin to help him? I don't have anything to offer.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
I walked on by and said nothing about what I had experienced. Not even to my husband. <br />
<br />
Weeks went by and I went back to my comfortable world and thought nothing of the man. It wasn't until Thanksgiving of 2013 I had another tug. It was the Holidays and I was dead set on our kids knowing the value of helping others during a time where they receive plenty. <br />
<br />
I put out a call to Facebook and asked people to help me find organizations or activities where we could serve as a family. We had a good list going. Blessing the trash workers, postal workers, helping a neighbor with yard work, cards for kids in the hospital, making a meal for families at the Ronald McDonald House and a homeless outreach. All of activities were in my comfort zone, but one. The homeless outreach. Yeah, we're just gonna move that one on down the list. Cooking for people. I can do that. Serving those who make me uncomfortable. Nope.<br />
<br />
That was my plan. To put off the homeless outreach until and maybe we wouldn't have time to get to it. Funny thing about my plans. I shared the list with the kids and they picked the homeless outreach. <br />
<br />
I could go on and on about what that day of serving did for us. It was a beautiful, messy moment that shook my beliefs on the homeless and poor. What I knew of my community and the struggles I thought I knew was NOTHING. Instead, people wanted (and needed) what we had as far as physical donations, but what they truly longed for was acknowledgement. <br />
<br />
It was then I realized maybe my moment on Magnificent Mile was just to stop the man in the hospital gown and have a conversation. To let him know 'I <i>see</i> you'. You are of value. You are not the scum of the streets. You are not a sum of your mistakes. You are a living, breathing, beautiful person who is loved by the one, true God.<br />
<br />
As my church prepares for an complete city wide outreach, it reminds me where we began as a family. Stepping out of complete comfort to love on people. I invite you to join us for #Loveday16 in Tulsa, OK. <br />
<br />
I want you to know that YOU have something to offer people. No matter how small or insignificant you think your gifts and talents are, they will be used and for a good purpose. This is a pretty good video of what one small step can do for you and others. <br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/5I18iVPpQHw/0.jpg" frameborder="0" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/5I18iVPpQHw?feature=player_embedded" width="320"></iframe></div>
<br />amanda torreshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08112448562735829311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5059285937433769130.post-76083789805487754632016-06-07T17:27:00.002-05:002016-06-07T22:39:05.915-05:00Joy Filled Life: A Lesson On Body ImageSummer is my favorite time of year because it offers freedom. Sweet freedom. Lazy summer mornings of not rushing kids every which way. Slower, or non-existent, activity schedule and less clothing.<br />
<br />
<i>Wait, what?</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
Okay, so there's one thing I don't like about summer. Less clothing. At least on me. Less clothing on kids...LOVE (means less laundry). However, less clothing on me means it's that much harder to hide the flaws. The spider veins, the cellulite, the whiteness, the loose skin, the non-existent 'I've nursed 4 babies' boobs and the baby leftovers. I found myself feeling inadequate in lots of areas of my body image. Some things I can change by being more focused on my diet and working out. Some things I could change surgically. Some things I could simply hide.<br />
<br />
OR.<br />
<br />
Or, I could accept.<br />
<br />
Dang it. Acceptance is touchy subject. I often feel when I accept something I am saying acceptance to justify, or because I feel defeated. But what if I flipped that to say acceptance as responsibility?<br />
<br />
I am where I am. I can do something about it, but I refuse to let my life center around my flaws any longer.<br />
<br />
I thought about this quite a bit today after my bestie snapped a pic of me and I immediately said, "Don't you dare post that!" I knew my baby leftovers were lapping over my swimsuit. It was not going to be a pretty sight, and not something I wanted to blast on social media.<br />
<br />
You know what's wrong with that? I made the whole situation about me. My thoughts. My insecurities. My shortcomings. It was selfish.<br />
<br />
My kids were having a blast playing at the pool. We were completely enjoying summer and the last thing I should have been worried about was what I looked like. But, really my thoughts were more like, <i>Oh, HECK NO! I want to only show what looks good. </i>Selfish.<br />
<br />
So what better way to correct my selfishness by sharing my 'ashamed pic'. I wish I had a big flashing arrow right to the point that bothers me the most, but a nice zoom in will do ;)<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguxD2OLdE1s7UR-hV9OO_N1FDWAlZZSrur1zaN-7iZABLW5-jb8yg0rxFPt3401rJJKdivbOwtd9qij61jscVUncxz4cUBA7TIX74NDfPXvX1LUcVsdZhrO_sIUEPmsvlQxqkXO_r13nuq/s1600/13413130_10103503750927022_5911416859213454521_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguxD2OLdE1s7UR-hV9OO_N1FDWAlZZSrur1zaN-7iZABLW5-jb8yg0rxFPt3401rJJKdivbOwtd9qij61jscVUncxz4cUBA7TIX74NDfPXvX1LUcVsdZhrO_sIUEPmsvlQxqkXO_r13nuq/s320/13413130_10103503750927022_5911416859213454521_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
I realize for others, this is probably not a big deal. We women certainly like to compare, but for me, I measure myself up to my old self. My pre-Stevie self. I measure myself up to this...</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdpCuBiI_yAUlinS9tI-1aSsBMpQILLkzZCjRB2G2Hnz7NhdYW1JoqBw31Rj1-f4ZgJoRsgwzo3SLbk7p5CxmlLMhGB8eGWRLi9HfziLHhIwEpqKezEaTOd6mkYKDo5sop9J03ixyLpCeC/s1600/969263_376638585786686_1085727289_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdpCuBiI_yAUlinS9tI-1aSsBMpQILLkzZCjRB2G2Hnz7NhdYW1JoqBw31Rj1-f4ZgJoRsgwzo3SLbk7p5CxmlLMhGB8eGWRLi9HfziLHhIwEpqKezEaTOd6mkYKDo5sop9J03ixyLpCeC/s320/969263_376638585786686_1085727289_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
Can we take a moment of silence for those ABS!?!?! Now, if I took hours each week focusing on my workouts (which I do need to do), then I can get that back, but guess what? There will always be things I don't like about my body image. The only way to combat destructive self images are to remind myself of who I am in Christ. <br />
<br />
Sounds so cliche, but truth. I am fully capable of serving others and living out a calling whether I have the Dunlap Disease or not. You know, the disease where your stomach 'done lapped' over your belt thus resulting in Dunlap Disease. My joy should not be wrapped up in my appearance or lack of appearance. My joy should be present no matter what the circumstance. Even in the darkest times. Even in the joyous times. Even in my own noticeable shortcomings. Even in my own successes. <br />
<br />
Joy. A joy filled life. That's what I want.<br />
<br />
Instead of focusing on whether or not baby leftovers are hanging out, I will capture those selfish, destructive thoughts and move towards focusing on Philippians 4:8.<br />
<br />
<i>Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-think about such things.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
Aligning my thoughts correctly. I am no where near perfect, but I will continue to work on getting better.<br />
<br />
If you are interested in rewiring how you think <i>The 4:8 Principle</i> by Tommy Newberry is a great start.amanda torreshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08112448562735829311noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5059285937433769130.post-17879646055488076722015-09-29T08:35:00.000-05:002015-09-29T08:35:52.530-05:00Balance and Presence and All That StuffI like to juggle. Who am I kidding? I suck at juggling. I don't like to juggle. The thought of it sounds cool, but the balls start flying and I get all anxious. Anxious about the WHAT IF! <br />
<br />
<i>What if I drop a ball?</i><br />
<br />
<i>What if I drop all the balls?</i><br />
<br />
<i>What if someone sees me drop the balls?</i><br />
<br />
<i>What if they laugh?</i><br />
<br />
<i>What if...what if...what if...</i><br />
<br />
This, in theory sounds crazy. Stressing out about juggling balls, but in real life this is REAL. I wear a lot of different hats, and if you are like 99.99999% of the American population, you wear a lot of hats too. Case in point, it's 8:00am and I have already been a workout partner, a friend, a cook, a hair stylist, a tutor, a butt wiper, you get the point. A lot of <i>stuff</i> has happened in the 3 short hours I have been awake. No doubt, there's a lot of other <i>stuff</i> that I still have to do, and will forget to do. It's inevitable.<br />
<br />
When the overwhelming feeling of all the jobs, all the chores, all the things I need to get done well up in my anxious self, I have to STOP. Easier said than done. Really. I have to not only stop, but tell myself to stop, then follow my own directions and prioritize. <br />
<br />
Almost always I find myself in an anxious mode when I let life run it's course in my head. I get distracted. I forget what I'm doing. I start something else. Get distracted. Forget what I'm doing again. Pick up something else. Get distracted. Then BAM!!! It's bedtime and I have all these half done jobs and nothing gets checked off my mental list.<br />
<br />
There's my problem number one. I keep a mental list instead of an actual tangible list where I can cross things off. Problem #2? I forget to be present in what I'm doing.<br />
<br />
Presence is the very key for me living a balanced life. I feel anxious when I let my thoughts and to-dos run wild in my head, instead of focusing and being present. Over the last two years, I remind myself often to be present in my activities. In the time with my kids. In the time I spend working. In the time I spend being a friend. In the time I spend with God. In the time I spend at church. In the time I spend being a wife. Sounds super great, right? Uhhhh...notice I said I have spent TWO years working on this! I am a multi-tasker by nature so the art of being present is something I work on DAILY. Funny thing is, when I practice being present, I am not anxious. I get WAY more done, and my family is happier. <br />
<br />
So today, I'm practicing presence...again. Something tells me I will be working on this tomorrow too.<br />
<br />
And, because I work on a better me for these guys (and I like to show off my kids and nephews like trophies) you get a pic of the Torres Kids!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_zPLDfdocWRSXlDwJuZ5BL8-8bi2GC7ms80rw8J11EpSL3YmRZ6xYA_gUHruxO7ejbJSFV33ojeOy6j5yA9Sf9fdPHpn7kZXOMO2cjn8vax027komIZllrJd_qVMdK_H9FI-STdlUdycQ/s1600/SDC2015Torres.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_zPLDfdocWRSXlDwJuZ5BL8-8bi2GC7ms80rw8J11EpSL3YmRZ6xYA_gUHruxO7ejbJSFV33ojeOy6j5yA9Sf9fdPHpn7kZXOMO2cjn8vax027komIZllrJd_qVMdK_H9FI-STdlUdycQ/s320/SDC2015Torres.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<i></i><br />amanda torreshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08112448562735829311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5059285937433769130.post-75538147465068097602015-09-18T15:20:00.001-05:002015-09-18T15:23:57.371-05:00Attitude of GratitudeYesterday I had a leadership meeting with my business to map out our plan for the remaining 4 months of the year. Before we began, we took a moment to focus on the art of being grateful.<br />
<br />
When you really think about it, how often are we truly grateful?<br />
<br />
Reality check!!!! Not often enough for me.<br />
<br />
Case in point...<br />
<br />
We have 6 living humans in this household. The laundry is unreal. UNREAL I tell you!!! Too many people in too many activities wearing too many clothes. It adds up so fast. And to be really honest, it drives me batty. Laundry and dishes...don't even get me started on the dishes...<br />
<br />
I digress.<br />
<br />
We leave tomorrow for a little weekend trip. Super fun, right? YES! Totally looking forward to it. However, the laundry needs to be done. So does grocery shopping. So does house cleaning. So does feeding kids. So does work. It goes on and on and on. I walked into my bedroom and was instantly frustrated with the laundry staring back at me. <br />
<br />
I kid you not, it said, <i>"Muahahahahaha....you won't fold us. There's too much of us and only one of you."</i><br />
<br />
Okay, so that didn't really happen, but it <i>felt</i> like it. Seriously. I felt defeated by laundry, and chores, and groceries, and kids. Hello, basket case!<br />
<i> </i><br />
Stop. I had to stop. Stop and think about what all these little things truly meant.<br />
<br />
I have clean clothes. Which means I have running water and electricity in my own home. That we own. I have money to buy soap to wash the clothes. Our family has many options of clothes to wear. For every season. The stains on the clothes are the evidence of the very freedoms we have. Freedom to eat out. Freedom to play sports. Which means we have a means to pay for food and activities. The list goes on and on and on.<br />
<br />
When you start to put it that way, life doesn't seem to defeat me as much. The attitude of gratitude immediately turns my frame of reference towards a place of victory. So there, Pile 'O Laundry! I will fold you and you will like it.<br />
<br />
Then my kids will put you away! <br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4J6EdvjANzGwyrbypC-sgxt94glbWDscuL0nOetlUxDm0m2MLTY0hPbQ4UfJByaM8pJuFtsQZ84Z9bkoUfqqWuFcx17nYgT1AkXv-gDlQKCGDgSWYizzxtmqUHR_T_7lsZ7IIhTY-2VEW/s1600/laundry.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4J6EdvjANzGwyrbypC-sgxt94glbWDscuL0nOetlUxDm0m2MLTY0hPbQ4UfJByaM8pJuFtsQZ84Z9bkoUfqqWuFcx17nYgT1AkXv-gDlQKCGDgSWYizzxtmqUHR_T_7lsZ7IIhTY-2VEW/s320/laundry.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
<i></i><br />
<i></i><br />
<i></i><br />
<i></i><br />
<i></i><br />
<i></i><br />
<i></i><br />
<i></i><br />
<i><br /></i>amanda torreshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08112448562735829311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5059285937433769130.post-22606319558850042132015-09-14T11:16:00.000-05:002015-09-14T11:16:55.933-05:00When Good is Good, But Great Is BetterTMI Alert...<br />
<br />
I LOVE nursing! I love the closeness, the cuddles, the baby breaths on my skin...I LOVE IT!!!<br />
<br />
I HATE the breastpump. The boob squeezing, tube sucking, devil machine. It is awful.<br />
<br />
Anytime I can avoid using the pump, I will.<br />
<br />
Nursing is good. Breastpump...ehhhhhhh.<br />
<br />
All this glorious information is pertinent, I promise.<br />
<br />
Yesterday my bestie and I scheduled a morning run, but the littliest Torres wasn't up just yet. I would have rather nursed her, yet I decided to pump so I could run. As I was getting ready to lace up my shoes, I heard her playing in the room.<br />
<br />
<i>Dang IT!!! I could have saved myself a pumping session!!!</i><br />
<br />
As I poured the milk into the bottle for Steven so he could feed her, Little Miss got all jumpy and said, "Mama, can I please feed her?!?!?" <br />
<i> </i><br />
She got her wish...<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEju4eayzhKoXvwMcx_B1vxaXEUqEssR6K96dCsKWDoelKakmKNp5V8Hx8HVB9Kk7OE2nvwxZr8sIMF_BCaOMRiL2KIBLRE8P4lE_MijuoMMeWbGt1179ls_rRbmMyM6l_EhhUc292fbFuID/s1600/addison+and+stevie.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEju4eayzhKoXvwMcx_B1vxaXEUqEssR6K96dCsKWDoelKakmKNp5V8Hx8HVB9Kk7OE2nvwxZr8sIMF_BCaOMRiL2KIBLRE8P4lE_MijuoMMeWbGt1179ls_rRbmMyM6l_EhhUc292fbFuID/s320/addison+and+stevie.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
My plan of wanting to nurse the littlest Torres was good, but laying that down gave me the opportunity to see that good is good, but great was better. I got to go run and Little Miss got to feed her sister for some bonding time.<br />
<br />
This is true in almost every aspect of life. Often times we buy into the lie that what we have is good, so looking for great is wrong. NO! Looking for great is what we are called to do.<br />
<br />
Let me clarify one thing here. If you're reading this and think, "My spouse is good, but I need great," STOP. RIGHT. THERE. Your spouse is great. Maybe you haven't helped uncover the greatness in them. So, more than likely, the problem is you and YOU should lay down your good and become great for YOUR spouse.<br />
<br />
But, since we aren't talking about that, I'm moving on. I had to make that one little thing clear.<br />
<br />
I can give you countless example after example of how this has proved true in our families' lives. Jobs, children, church, school...all these things we have experienced good. Then something was laid down before us. We almost stepped over it because, after all, what we have is good. Why would we trade it in for something else? What if the new isn't as good as the old? What if we weren't supposed to pick up the new in the first place? What if...what if...what if...<br />
<br />
We let fear take over. Fear paralyzes us from living out our true calling or potential. Pick up the dang thing! Let yourself see that good is good, but great is better. You can have great. There is nothing wrong with saying, "What I have right now is good. In fact, I love it. BUT, what I'm picking up will take me to a place in life I could have never imagined."<br />
<br />
Don't walk in fear today, or tomorrow for that matter. Walk through whatever you need to, but let fear fall to wayside on the way. Greater is He who is in you than who is in the world (1 John 4:4). You have already won. Just walk it out.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />amanda torreshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08112448562735829311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5059285937433769130.post-21279466069100429062015-09-09T07:51:00.001-05:002015-09-09T07:51:43.632-05:00Willingness To Be MisunderstoodHave you ever put yourself out there only to find out you were misunderstood? Yeah, me neither.<br />
<br />
I kid. I put myself out there a lot, and I'm okay with being misunderstood. A few years ago? Never. I would have really cared about what people <i>thought </i>of<i> </i>my motives instead of focusing on the true nature of my motives.<br />
<br />
That's the thing with living outside of your comfort zone. People often misunderstand your heart and your intentions. It happens to us all. The more you step out of your comfort zone, the more opportunities you have to be misunderstood. <br />
<br />
I've found this to be true time and time again. Running my own organization through Arbonne offers lots of moments where I am misunderstood. I'm okay with this. I'm okay with knowing, and outsiders not knowing, the beautiful stories of people who I have partnered with as they worked on better health, better skin, or better finances. They know my heart. As for others who see a skewed view of who I am or what I do, it's okay! The truth will always be made light. It is the same for you.<br />
<br />
We can walk through life and try to prove who we are to the world. That's not needed, and often times we are trying so hard to <i>prove</i> who we are, we unintentionally lose sight of ourselves and our passions. The truth is we have already been proved through Christ. We have a list of all the things God says we are...friends, heirs, wonderfully made, conquerors, and many more. All the more reasons why we need to protect our hearts, live with good intentions, shine a light for Him, and have the willingness to be misunderstood. And, might I add the willingness to be misunderstood without putting up a fight.<br />
<br />
<b><i>Now, if you really want to know about what I do and how I came to be apart of Arbonne, I really encourage you to listen to my story tonight at 8:30pm CST via a conference call. The flyer below has the dial in number, and reference number you will be prompted to enter. Then you just listen. </i></b><br />
<b><i><br /></i></b>
<b><i>Whether you are curious of how one builds an organization or what Arbonne is, this is a time to discover the answers. It's also a time where you can be completely nosy and nobody knows!!! Like a fly on the wall.</i></b><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6jNHq6u-h83gIMBFeu3J5JVKWGNNoB0yNKo9Brj0L_51PW0ocCFeYSg3gOCY34TMJN5NxifgE3Ta-1eWqkSiPDy5Ic1lCXN8ugU67LOoNNlxjcygaqzsGaSPunvzplWMpjLpStI_uX0Op/s1600/DA+flyer+personal.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><i><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6jNHq6u-h83gIMBFeu3J5JVKWGNNoB0yNKo9Brj0L_51PW0ocCFeYSg3gOCY34TMJN5NxifgE3Ta-1eWqkSiPDy5Ic1lCXN8ugU67LOoNNlxjcygaqzsGaSPunvzplWMpjLpStI_uX0Op/s400/DA+flyer+personal.jpg" width="308" /></i></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-size: x-small;">(screen shot the info for faster reference)</span></i></div>
amanda torreshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08112448562735829311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5059285937433769130.post-1092438375784028212015-09-08T07:00:00.000-05:002015-09-08T11:12:25.118-05:00Menu Monday...Or Some Version Of ItIt's been a really long time since I have typed our weekly menu. I meal plan for each week. It helps keep our grocery bill under control and keeps my mind from stressing each day on what to feed the children. Seriously. If I don't meal plan, there is a Feed the Children campaign that instantly begins at my house. Children laying on the floor writhing in pain from stomach cramps. They are dying. Dying from starvation. You know, because they <i>JUST</i> ate 2 hours ago!<br />
<br />
If they only knew...<br />
<br />
So, I meal plan. It keeps my sanity. Here are some options for you this week or to file away. Generally, these are fast meals because, like the rest of America, we are on the go. Plus, cooking with a baby on your hip and a 3 year old racing cars under your feet, all the while helping two older kids with homework is a job in and of itself. Just typing that out made me exhausted. It's a glamorous life up in here!<br />
<br />
<a href="http://thetorresfam.blogspot.com/2010/04/turkey-veggie-spaghetti.html">Veggie Loaded Spaghetti</a><br />
<b>Fast Tips:</b> I usually have ground turkey cooked, seasoned and frozen so I can toss it in the fridge to thaw and then dump it in the spaghetti. Veggies are pre cut as well. Toss in and boil noodles.<br />
<br />
<b>Make It Clean:</b> Swap out regular noodles for Gluten Free. Most GF options are made with corn or white potato. Neither of those are good choices for you. We opt for brown rice pasta. A lot of my clients opt for quinoa pasta. Both great choices.<br />
<a href="http://thetorresfam.blogspot.com/2009/08/one-of-my-favs.html"><br /></a>
<a href="http://thetorresfam.blogspot.com/2009/08/one-of-my-favs.html">Greek Tacos</a><br />
<b>Fast Tips: </b>This one is pretty fast itself. Less than 20 minute cook time. However, pre-cooking and seasoning your beef will speed it up.<br />
<br />
<b>Make It Clean:</b> Grass fed beef is the way to go or swap out for free range ground turkey. Serve over brown rice chips, or use a brown rice tortilla. This dish, I don't skip the feta. It makes it so yummy!!!<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.centercutcook.com/southwest-quinoa-salad/">Southwestern Quinoa Salad </a><br />
<b>Fast Tips:</b> This can be made 1-2 days ahead of time. Often times I buy a rotisserie chicken from Sprouts or Whole Foods to shred the meat. The recipe doesn't call for chicken, but we LOVE it.<br />
<br />
<b>Make It Clean:</b> Organic non-GMO corn is the way to go or skip it altogether.<br />
<a href="http://kitchenmeetsgirl.com/honey-lime-chicken-skewers/"><br /></a>
<a href="http://kitchenmeetsgirl.com/honey-lime-chicken-skewers/">Honey Lime Chicken Skewers</a><br />
<b>Fast Tips: </b>Pre-marinade and throw it on the grill.<br />
<br />
<b>Make It Clean:</b> Substitute Bragg's Liquid Aminos for soy sauce, coconut oil for vegetable oil, and use a raw local organic honey.<br />
<br />
Hopefully, these four items help you out a bit. And, just to keep it real, we'll be hitting up Chick-fil-a this week too. Holla if you love some CFA!!!!<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg512GL61UN5yI5KRkn7Rr8_6IJ6npR0tZ0OQ1QscxQ12sxJX7WCynllUPp8xgNu6NDclJX_0cS3bQCleUqiSbsmDXK4iJMDZVsOF4YsBlcSY9DGesVJHLHLNwrbRmneRCZDStM-rklPe2C/s1600/chickfila_spicychicken.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="203" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg512GL61UN5yI5KRkn7Rr8_6IJ6npR0tZ0OQ1QscxQ12sxJX7WCynllUPp8xgNu6NDclJX_0cS3bQCleUqiSbsmDXK4iJMDZVsOF4YsBlcSY9DGesVJHLHLNwrbRmneRCZDStM-rklPe2C/s320/chickfila_spicychicken.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />amanda torreshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08112448562735829311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5059285937433769130.post-60414672215150965912015-09-03T07:00:00.000-05:002015-09-04T15:06:31.805-05:00Things I Thought I Never I've never had obedient easy children from birth. All of our kiddos have come out with strong personalities and boldness in their ideas and opinions. The first two were fairly challenging in stages. Times arose where we wondered if we were fighting the good fight or just fighting a losing battle. However, we stayed the course and within months of working to change behaviors, we were able to see the fruits of our labors with our older kids.<br />
<br />
We really patted ourselves on the backs. <i> </i><br />
<br />
<i>Look at our amazing parenting skills. We've got this thing figured out. Wow! We've really molded these kids into strong leaders. I should pass on our life lessons to the other parents who are struggling with strong-willed kids.</i><br />
<br />
Ha!<i> </i>So naive! We were doing so well. Mastered the temper tantrums, shaped their wills, and then BAM! Chubby Cheekers came along. From birth he was our spirited little guy. His funnies are funny, but his challenges are challenging. Like 'put me in a straight jacket and take me to the looney bin' challenging.<br />
<br />
Over his 3.5 years, we have learned the power of ultra consistency. The power of standing our ground even when it's not popular. The power in recognizing his unique gifts even though they can be embarrassing (he is an entertainer at heart).<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
Exhibit A:</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhx9DxUJcylvP4XO32IXhdR0sMgIngjae5zAr-wZ1olz_kOEkG75NyYE4M9uHAREwiji-UEzw7wMFZ-LtUTdePO06nzlqKxzrzvBHUrq_0f6otKy6usvCFvSNCJOFK7RazbY2DSPBjrNKLz/s1600/micah3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhx9DxUJcylvP4XO32IXhdR0sMgIngjae5zAr-wZ1olz_kOEkG75NyYE4M9uHAREwiji-UEzw7wMFZ-LtUTdePO06nzlqKxzrzvBHUrq_0f6otKy6usvCFvSNCJOFK7RazbY2DSPBjrNKLz/s320/micah3.jpg" width="249" /></a></div>
<br />
We've also learned the power of letting things go! He may embarrass me more times than I would like, but his behavior is more related to the heart of a boy who likes mischief and not a true heart issue of malice, ill-will, disobedience, or disrespect.<br />
<br />
Don't get me wrong! We deal with a LOT of heart issues. We take 1 step forward and 3 steps back on heart issues. In this on-going struggle, we've learned that progress is progress. Not to focus on the times we feel like we're losing ground, but the wins we have together. We've learned to celebrate his fun-loving craziness. Look less on what others see in our family and look more towards what we can do to turn out a responsible, fun-loving, compassionate leader.<br />
<br />
Enough of the parenting lessons we've learned over time, and time to celebrate Chubby Cheekers. I'd like to call this tribute, 'Things I NEVER Thought I Would Need To Say'.<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>If you want to go to gymnastics you'll need to put on underwear. Nobody wants to see your berries while stretching and flipping.</li>
<li>We don't lick people. They aren't lollipops. </li>
<li>Growling is only okay when playing zoo, not when answering adults.</li>
<li>Put your pants on! Underwear is optional. Pants are not.</li>
<li>You can't wear your sister's swimsuit. Yours is in the bathtub from last night.</li>
<li>You can't pee in the front yard. Only in the back. </li>
</ul>
These are just a few that have happened as of late. Now I'm wishing I would have kept a book. He's quite the character that offers a lot of daily laughs.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVUXVNnxLfV2D3pw6_p4jx-75dZh0kcNrmUqcCv-iTtkHNKgq4OseGFiV3FCKUdvWoGXkw5c2DyeW5DlpfqgG-J2KSaykDD5XWE4fM7HZER4aF0b8rexPhD02qivDGiBx6xHIxwQNYHF7X/s1600/micah2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVUXVNnxLfV2D3pw6_p4jx-75dZh0kcNrmUqcCv-iTtkHNKgq4OseGFiV3FCKUdvWoGXkw5c2DyeW5DlpfqgG-J2KSaykDD5XWE4fM7HZER4aF0b8rexPhD02qivDGiBx6xHIxwQNYHF7X/s320/micah2.jpg" width="228" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />amanda torreshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08112448562735829311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5059285937433769130.post-49288598512649641922015-09-02T07:00:00.000-05:002015-09-02T11:51:58.877-05:00All Together<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3BU7U7plxks7UUMFpj42Jy5hELAo-ioWDgDY9XNje0RHxIRQkNaCvWI8Zvx_rsYg-LGUz83MkEMlATqmLbK88pGkk6PuMdPmSlZoVKPNYW68LRw7n0cb4r6R2xX2WL5NyGEB92sAz0ERU/s1600/IMG_5838+copy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3BU7U7plxks7UUMFpj42Jy5hELAo-ioWDgDY9XNje0RHxIRQkNaCvWI8Zvx_rsYg-LGUz83MkEMlATqmLbK88pGkk6PuMdPmSlZoVKPNYW68LRw7n0cb4r6R2xX2WL5NyGEB92sAz0ERU/s320/IMG_5838+copy.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
I love this picture. It was the first time we had all four kids in one pic and 3 out of 4 were smiling (Little Bit doesn't count. She was too young and the creepy baby stare was a good look for her). It reminds me that there are times when we may appear to have it all together. In fact, you appear to have it all together too. Notice that word 'appear'?<br />
<br />
Appearances are deceiving, and you know the problem with appearances? They STINK!<br />
<br />
Everyone is walking around hoping...<i>praying</i>...their appearance looks all together so no one will find out what level of Crazy they are living. Although, we are all functioning at some level of non-normal. It's what makes us, US! It makes you, YOU! <br />
<br />
So I'm here to set you straight. We live in the penthouse of Crazyville. Most days it's pretty nice in the penthouse. We've become accustomed to the entertainment provided by our four kids. Sometimes the entertainment is at the silly things they do, and sometimes the entertainment is on us. You know, those moments where you have a freak out session, or your child does something utterly humiliating...in public...or worse yet, in front of the many people you admire. We've learned to laugh at our reactions and circumstances (at a much later time 'cause in the moment it ain't so funny). We've come to realize I won't be a Stepford Wife, and our kids aren't Leave It To Beaver kids. We are more of the America's Funny Home Videos family. If any of you know our 3rd child, Chubby Cheekers, you know EXACTLY what I'm talking about.<br />
<br />
I really don't have very much else to say. Basically, I needed to remind you (and I will do it often) that the Torres family does not, and never will, have it all together. We've just learned to manage what we have to the best of our abilities and let grace take over. Grace. That's some good stuff right there!amanda torreshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08112448562735829311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5059285937433769130.post-34265488833029293152015-08-31T07:00:00.000-05:002015-09-01T12:54:50.257-05:00RestYou know those little teacup rides? Almost every theme park has some version of them. The kind you sit in and feel all cute, then it gets going and all of a sudden you can't see straight? Your stomach starts churning...mouth waters...and you begin to wonder why you thought it was a good idea to step on the little puke inducing ride in the first place. I mean, I don't even really like tea to begin with. Why would I sit <i>in </i>a teacup???<br />
<br />
That is my life. At this very moment. A teacup spinning so fast it makes me a bit nauseous and always wondering, 'How did I end up<i> here</i>?' Life moving a bit too fast. Life seeming a bit too full. <br />
<br />
For fear of over-complicating life, I did the only thing I could think of; re-evaluate each area I was experiencing stress. Surely something could fall to the wayside.<br />
<br />
Nope.<br />
<br />
After carefully consideration, there wasn't anything I was willing to let go. All my roles, responsibilities, activities, etc are things I <i>want</i> to do. Things that energize me. So if they are energizing to me in thought, why do I feel stressed in real life??? Something was out of whack and I needed to put my finger on it. I decided to tune myself into my stress. As I started to feel stressed throughout the day, I (for real) asked myself questions. Like one gigantic nut case walking myself through serious issues. My thoughts were like this... <br />
<br />
<i>Why am I feeling stressed?</i><br />
<i>Can I do anything about the stress?</i><br />
<i>Could the stress have been avoided?<br />What's for dinner tonight?</i><br />
<br />
Yeah, so that last one shows you how much of a nut case I truly am!<br />
<br />
In the end, I realized one common thing. I am relying on my own abilities and talents instead of resting. Resting in knowing God has gifted me in areas, but I am not responsible for creating outcomes. I am responsible for being a good steward of my gifts and turning over what I cannot control to Him. It is completely out of line to utilize my abilities and then fret if the outcome will measure up to MY standards. Making the things that I enjoy about ME instead of about HIM.<br />
<br />
My head has been so wrapped up in capturing every thought and making it obedient to Christ. I'm not gonna lie. This. Is. Hard. For. Me. For someone who is goal driven and results oriented, worrying comes naturally by my flesh. That flesh of mine, well, she likes to analyze and worry and fret and analyze some more. Such a vicious cycle. But it's stopping. This week as I complete a task or project and get to the point where the outcome is out of my control, I rest. I pray. I open His Word. I read. I rest.<br />
<br />
I'm not sure if you experience the crazy life, and it may come in seasons for you, but I encourage you to find rest as well. <br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJq6lQ83c-0g-39WvUtZZTtTfjLaLqYWSoSm4_qo5UDB42M4FwsdUC8uwDgmjxNR29DIG3UwXtiPkswdAWOU2JdChVAdaOWi792SJdjU0vWSO8wGHpjBS-V9k164XhNGq7Yfb-Pf9dTKAT/s1600/matthew1128.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="224" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJq6lQ83c-0g-39WvUtZZTtTfjLaLqYWSoSm4_qo5UDB42M4FwsdUC8uwDgmjxNR29DIG3UwXtiPkswdAWOU2JdChVAdaOWi792SJdjU0vWSO8wGHpjBS-V9k164XhNGq7Yfb-Pf9dTKAT/s320/matthew1128.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<i> </i><br />
<i> </i><br />
<br />
<br />amanda torreshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08112448562735829311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5059285937433769130.post-72757287750767763592015-06-15T15:05:00.000-05:002015-08-28T22:37:51.029-05:00I'm Baaaaaaackkkkk! Sorta.For the love of all things precious I can't believe I even remembered how to log in to my own blog account. It's been a LONG time. So long that we are now a family of SIX instead of a family of FIVE. I'd like to introduce you to our latest Torres. Yes, I had ANOTHER baby. I'd like to introduce you to Little Miss Thang...<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNigKN8_N7WgLwddyYkQKiPSa4xMFPlsyfJwI6G80znFhEpMp6yShByv7rsfegAV9Iktxg1whu8wrUCn-YNedOCwsBWtVOhRCOCDVb_W13YvWOPZMofWU9NtPVNVfskx_amArbExfizh6s/s1600/pink+swim+suit.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNigKN8_N7WgLwddyYkQKiPSa4xMFPlsyfJwI6G80znFhEpMp6yShByv7rsfegAV9Iktxg1whu8wrUCn-YNedOCwsBWtVOhRCOCDVb_W13YvWOPZMofWU9NtPVNVfskx_amArbExfizh6s/s320/pink+swim+suit.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
The one thing we never knew we needed. Chubby Cheekers pretty much eats my lunch every single day. He's a lover. He's a fighter. He's passionate. He's strong willed. He's hilarious. He's just a lot. Seeing that he keeps my hands full at all time, we could not comprehend adding anymore baby cakes to our bakery, but Little Miss Thang is our icing on top.<br />
<br />
I have great ambitions to keep up with writing and sharing all of our shenanigans, highlights, low-lights, and every thing in between in hopes for you to see YOU ARE NORMAL! You know, for any point in your day when you think it is out of control, you can look on here and think, "At least I'm not up in that cray-cray house." It's okay. I'm good with you thinking that. I think that most of the time...except I'm here...amanda torreshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08112448562735829311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5059285937433769130.post-29266261154880725892014-09-16T06:30:00.000-05:002014-09-16T06:30:00.683-05:00Life. Moves On. And Such.I love writing. I love writing on this blog. I love connecting with people. I love connecting with people through this blog. There are days I can't wait to sit down to write my thoughts, and then there are days I get in bed, hit the pillow, and I'm out. No time for writing. <br />
<br />
With the start of school, we've had new routines. Trying to keep everyone cohesive and maximize quality time is work and that leaves little time for writing. Presence has been an action I have been working on lately. Presence with my kids. Presence with my business. Presence as a wife. Presence as a friend. Presence as a Christian. Presence as a (fill in the blank)______________.<br />
<br />
Goodness. We wear a lot of different hats. I used to focus on balancing life. No doubt that's important, but what helps me maintain that balance is asking myself, <i>"Am I being present in the activity I am doing NOW?"</i> <br />
<br />
I may drop the ball with tasks I am supposed to complete and my to-do list may pile up on some days, but what I'm realizing is being present is what is keeps me focused on importance. I'm not sure this helps anyone else, but life moves by fast for us. We blink and it's a new month. Sometimes I can barely remember the date. It's a new reality for me. With baby #4 on the way, I'm realizing I'll manage the crazy, but being present where I'm at is what keeps me from jumping off the cliff of insanity.<br />
<br />
After all, these kiddos reflect how I can feel in a matter of minutes. If I don't stay present, this is what you get... <br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<img alt="" class="spotlight" height="298" src="https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xfp1/v/t1.0-9/10426307_10152793136377975_7232350974648117759_n.jpg?oh=5ef338cc5527f5aba76f1db69ff96b49&oe=549D7FF6&__gda__=1418507667_958c6253362ef263a28086f46f01b4f4" width="400" /> </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
All of this to say, I haven't quit this blog. I never will. It's a great outlet. It just may not happen everyday. </div>
amanda torreshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08112448562735829311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5059285937433769130.post-21280499245070760372014-08-27T06:30:00.000-05:002014-08-27T06:30:03.673-05:00Embracing My CrazyDucks in a row. To do list made. Perfectly planned. Details thought out. Tasks done early.<br />
<br />
<i>That was me.</i><br />
<br />
Not. Anymore.<br />
<br />
Here is a prime example. Last week parents sat in little chairs and listened to teachers explain class rules and such. The annual Parent Night. Most normal parents walk into the right class without issue, thumb through their kid's desk, write little love notes, and intently listen to the teacher.<br />
<br />
I intently listened to the teacher. The other 'normal' things I intended to do correctly, but it didn't happen. First off, I walked into, not ONE wrong classroom, but TWO. I blame it on recognizing parents. Saw the first 2nd grade classroom and a few of last year's parents were sitting down. Well, by all means that must be Little Man's class. Nope.<br />
<br />
Second attempt. I see more parents. This time I am fully convinced Little Man is in the same class as his buddy Lane. Nope, he's not. <br />
<br />
For attempt number 3 I decided to actually <i>look</i> at the teacher before walking in. BAM! I find it. <br />
<br />
It's not like I didn't go in there on Meet the Teacher. Seriously. Who does that kind of stuff?<br />
<br />
So major fail on finding the right class. <br />
<br />
I did peek in Little Man's desk, but I didn't thumb through his stuff. He keeps a tidy desk. Score one for mom for teaching him neatness. It was super neat. So not a total fail there. <br />
<br />
Did I write him a note? NOPE. Honestly, it didn't even cross my mind until now. I bet he would have liked that. <i>Mental note for next year...write a mushy gushy love note and leave it smack in the middle of his desk. He'll totally love that and feel appreciated when his friends see it too. </i><br />
<i><br /></i>
Lastly, I walk out of Parent Night and see the 2nd Grade Community Board. All these kids with pics of them with their families on vacations, enjoying activities, and/or living it up with friends. Then there's Little Man's pic. My first born. The kid I'm supposed to get everything right with, because after all, he's the first to experience these things. Well, he has his school pic from last year. Nothing cool. No beach vacation pics. No cool friend pics. No well posed family pics. Just a school pic.<br />
<br />
Here's what I find ultra funny about that. If HE got a regular old school pic to take for his assignment, what's the final Torres kids gonna get??? Maybe a personalized self-sketch because we can't even find an adequate picture???<br />
<br />
For a little bit, I was beating myself up about this. Who does that to their kid? Then I had to take a step back and think, <i>Does he even really care or is this me just comparing what pics other kids have vs. what I sent him with? </i> <br />
<br />
Probably has more to do with me comparing. He doesn't care. In fact, he thinks his pic is awesome. Problem solved. So I'll just embrace my crazy for now. I'll be me...the mom who used to have it all together who now randomly walks into other classrooms and sends a 'It'll do photo' to school. <br />
<br />
Oh well! I'll also be the mom who makes up crazy games to entertain herself at the pool. Like the Bet You Can't Hit Dad's Hand game...<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<img alt="" class="spotlight" height="400" src="https://scontent-a-dfw.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpa1/v/t1.0-9/1899989_10152743235022975_4519201846134769949_n.jpg?oh=fbf99fa6254ac4f7e9c4ab79e05b03c4&oe=547F2DE6" width="298" /> </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<img alt="" class="spotlight" height="400" src="https://scontent-a-dfw.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xaf1/t1.0-9/10547447_10152743234357975_7051188199985439339_n.jpg" width="298" /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<img alt="" class="spotlight" height="400" src="https://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xap1/t1.0-9/10409662_10152743233922975_8516050360001503207_n.jpg" width="298" /> </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Yep, that's way more my style at the moment. </div>
amanda torreshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08112448562735829311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5059285937433769130.post-29859114490147093232014-08-26T06:30:00.000-05:002014-08-26T09:34:04.238-05:00Menu Monday...on TuesdayHelloooooo Summer! Just when you think we have come through and Oklahoma summer unscathed, it turns to hotter than Hades temps. HOLY SMOKES!!! We spent Sunday with our church section and Tulsa Homeless Outreach passing out needs and talking with the homeless in the heat. After standing on the hot pavement for an hour, I have a burden for those living on the streets or living without A/C.<br />
<br />
In the comfort of my own home, I hydrated all day so me and my preggers self would be in tip top shape to serve in the 100+ degree temps. Once we get out to our meeting location, I see 3...THREE...pregnant women who were living on the streets. Absolutely heartbreaking. One woman in particular had no idea how far along she was, but was as big around as I am. As soon as I began asking questions, she jetted. I can't get her face, demeanor, and baby out of my mind. Which leaves me with a burdened heart, and that's not a bad thing. With a burdened heart, you no longer walk through your own life thinking about yourself and your problems and your issues and your to-do's. You just can't. Life just can't go on the same. You can't look at these faces month after month and NOT think about how you can do your life different so they can know a better life.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<img alt="" class="spotlight" height="298" src="https://scontent-b-dfw.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xfp1/v/t1.0-9/10592804_10152744389897975_8280936040843521851_n.jpg?oh=edd44c37db6de8446b9b3f1ffd2c9f3f&oe=547C2D3B" width="400" /> </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
{Dwayne}</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<img alt="" class="spotlight" height="298" src="https://fbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xaf1/v/t1.0-9/10015645_10152744389887975_3563574831112011029_n.jpg?oh=7fbe7d42de1a10ed692e5e35857d9505&oe=545E7C2E&__gda__=1415687322_405c08bc5b93cca52f3b60853456ef4f" width="400" /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
{Garland}</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<img alt="" class="spotlight" height="400" src="https://fbcdn-sphotos-d-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpa1/t1.0-9/10442506_10152744389892975_2168700736239804402_n.jpg" width="298" /> </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
{Billy...he thought he had me beat in the belly region}</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
These 3 men have stories. Stories that may shock you. Dwayne and Garland are actually not homeless now. They have transitioned to apartment living. However, their apartments are NOT what you and I would consider acceptable living. Dwayne often refers to his apartment as the Dungeon. In my opinion, that is a generous description. Yep, life cannot go on business as usual anymore.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
So here we are on Tuesday and I typically would have a menu posted, but thoughts were elsewhere. BUT, I have it today.<br />
<br />
<b>Monday</b>-Does it even really matter now?<br />
<b>Tuesday</b>-Taco Salad served over <a href="http://www.chow.com/recipes/30368-spicy-oven-roasted-chickpeas">Spicy Roasted Chickpeas</a> and Watermelon<br />
<b>Wednesday<a href="http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/danas-crispy-coconut-chicken-recipe.html">-</a></b><a href="http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/danas-crispy-coconut-chicken-recipe.html">Coconut Chicken</a>, Roasted Broccoli, Sweet Potatoes<br />
<b>Thursday</b>-Grilled Chicken Salad and Croissants<br />
<b>Friday</b>-Pizza Bread<br />
<b>Saturday-</b>Dinner Out<br />
<b>Sunday</b>-Burgers, Brats, and all things grilled.amanda torreshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08112448562735829311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5059285937433769130.post-91242826969435686132014-08-19T06:30:00.000-05:002014-08-19T06:30:01.309-05:00Throw Away PeopleA few nights ago I was reading my new favorite book, <i>Undaunted</i> by Christine Caine.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<img class="irc_mut" height="400" src="data:image/jpeg;base64,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" style="margin-top: 0px;" width="400" /> </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
It has touched a lot of sensitive areas in my life. <i>Where do I stand helping others? How much of my own comfort am I willing to give up for that help? Am I really living a Christ like life? How much do I value others' lives over my own? Are my priorities straight? </i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
All these questions floating around. It takes a lot of self-reflection and honestly some of the answers I don't like because I'm selfish. I like my time. I like my space. I like my family. Then the disgust sets in for all that liking of time and space because in the end will I be satisfied to answer the question, <i>"Did I do enough?" </i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
We don't get to heaven by works or being a good person or living by the right rules. We get there by the acceptance of what Jesus did for us, but what I mean is did I do enough with what I was given? Did I use my gifts and talents? Did I use the resources I was given in the proper manner?</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Here's a perfect example.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
My mom and I were talking the other day and she mentioned how she feels we live in a society where people are looked at as throw aways. We see this all the time in life. The teenagers that are dressed funky. The homeless on the street. The provocatively dressed young lady. How many times do we walk by in judgement? We assume we <i>know</i> why they are the way they are. We assume we <i>know</i> what's caused them to be in this time and place. We assume there is nothing we can do to help.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Wrong.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I love how Christine Caine put this kind of topic in her book. I've read it a handful of times and each time it inspires me to search harder for what I can do to display this kind of love.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>No matter how deep the pit or dark the night, I will always look for you and rescue you because I love you with an everlasting love. You are precious to me. Even when you mess up, even when you're careless or mistaken or afraid or broken or weak, I still love you. Even when you are incapable of doing anything for anyone, including yourself, I still love you. And just as I come for you, I come for all those who have made mistakes, and those who are overlooked, for those devalued and despised. I come for all the wrong people--the careless and uncared for, the merry and the miserable</i>. <i>I come for the lost, whether the lost is a silly sheep, a silver coin, or a squandering son. (</i>pg 135<i>, Undaunted)</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
If Jesus searches for these people, cares for these people, loves these people, then WHY AREN'T WE??? We are not helpless individuals. We are powerful in Christ. When you see this kind of passion spilled out on the pages of a book, how can I think, "There's not much I can do. It's just the way it is." People are not throw aways. They are not old shoes. They are not wasted spaces. There are treasures deep inside waiting, <i>waiting</i>, for YOU! </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I pray you find your niche, your calling, into how you are to serve others. We are not all called in the same way, but we are called for something. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
amanda torreshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08112448562735829311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5059285937433769130.post-891440341082848852014-08-18T06:30:00.000-05:002014-08-18T06:30:00.165-05:00Menu MondayIt finally hit me. I am having a baby. The whole idea of waking up at endless hours of the night and the crying and the sleepless night and the crying and the no sleep thing and the crying...I think you get it. Well, it all really freaks me out. We've been down this road before and frankly, I. LOVE. SLEEP. Giving up nights on end with no rest during the day is a super duper labor of love for me.<br />
<br />But, finally...FINALLY, I am getting excited to snuggle, cuddle, nurse and love on a little 7 lb bundle of miraculous cuteness at all hours. The newborn pics creeping through my news feed gets me so excited about the new life. Another opportunity to raise a child to make a difference in this world. We live a rich life!<br />
<br />
In the meantime, I am going to cook. Life goes on and there's not too much time to ponder the future. Here's what's getting us through the week nutritionally...<br />
<br />
<b>Monday</b>-Taco Lettuce Wraps, <a href="http://thetorresfam.blogspot.com/2013/04/homemade-salsa.html">Homemade Salsa</a>, and Brown Rice Chips<br />
<b>Tuesday</b>-Grilled Chicken, Peppers, and Onions with Brown Rice<br />
<b>Wednesday</b>-<a href="http://www.tasteofhome.com/recipes/seasoned-tilapia-fillets">Seasoned Tilapia</a>, Steamed Broccoli, Salad<br />
<b>Thursday</b>-Turkey Burgers and Sweet Potato Fries<br />
<b>Friday</b>-Stir Fry with Veggies<br />
<b>Saturday-</b>Dinner Out<br />
<b>Sunday</b>-Dinner at Mom'samanda torreshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08112448562735829311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5059285937433769130.post-68388367046891443942014-08-11T06:30:00.000-05:002014-08-11T06:30:01.138-05:00Menu MondayIt's the week we begin school. Am I really old enough to have a second grader and a Kindergartener??? How is it possible to have kids that old when I'm only 25? <br />
<br />
I am so lying through my teeth. I'm 25 plus a few more years, but I have a bit of an identity crisis. I see myself as 25. Then I see someone who is truly 25 and I cry. They have no wrinkles...or gray hair...or multiple children dangling from their limbs. Nope! They are just young and vibrant and naive and...I just can't talk about this anymore. <br />
<br />
Here's the menu...<br />
<br />
<b>Monday</b>-<a href="http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/ina-garten/perfect-roast-chicken-recipe.html">Whole Roasted Chicken</a>, Steamed Broccoli, Strawberries<br />
<b>Tuesday</b>-Sanwiches and stuff...It's Meet Your Teacher then straight to football.<br />
<b>Wednesday</b>-Chicken Crescent Roll Ups, Sweet Potatoes, Blueberries<br />
<b>Thursday</b>-<a href="http://www.tasteofhome.com/recipes/grilled-tilapia-with-lemon-basil-vinaigrette">Grilled Tilapia</a>, Green Beans, Salad<br />
<b>Friday</b>-DATE NIGHT!<br />
<b>Saturday</b>-<a href="http://thetorresfam.blogspot.com/2011/04/pizza-crust-and-sauce.html">Homemade Pizza</a> and Salad<br />
<b>Sunday</b>-<a href="http://thetorresfam.blogspot.com/2010/04/turkey-veggie-spaghetti.html">Veggie Loaded Spaghetti</a>, Salad, <a href="http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2010/09/the-bread/">The Bread</a><br />
<br />
25 year olds totally cook like this, right???amanda torreshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08112448562735829311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5059285937433769130.post-84444218442033535632014-08-08T06:30:00.000-05:002014-08-08T06:30:00.998-05:00Just Call Me HandyFootball season started in our house last week. My husband and son are in their element. Little Miss, Chubby Cheekers and I are along for the ride (and I guess Torres #4 too...she goes where I go). It's been pretty fun. Ask me again in a month if it's still fun. No, I'm kidding. It's a fun schedule to keep and manage when you husband is coaching. I mean that in the most serious manner (I am totally lying through my teeth).<br />
<br />
Just for a little visual, here's my big <strike>wittle bitty baby</strike> guy suiting up for practice. He's loving the time with his friends and learning new skills.<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<img alt="" class="spotlight" height="298" src="https://scontent-a-dfw.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xfa1/t1.0-9/10501599_10152697167627975_6418732390129998968_n.jpg" width="400" /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Do they not look so totally tough???</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Aside from football season being new to our schedule, we are also working on something else new. The boys are moving in together. Chubby Cheekers is being kicked out of his room to make room for his baby sister. As of now, they boys are excited about it. I give this about 2.5 days. But that's beside the point. The POINT is...</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
You can now hire me for your latest handy dandy needs. My latest piece of work is a (drum roll please)....</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Toddler Bed!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<img alt="" class="spotlight" height="298" src="https://scontent-b-dfw.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xfa1/t1.0-9/10530709_10152700444252975_1505520739697396252_n.jpg" width="400" /> </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Yeah, I can read directions like a BOSS! I am also pretty mean with an allen wrench. Thanks to our crazy new football schedule, I decided to tackle the assembly of the bed by myself. I got tired of seeing the box chilling in the entry way. Honestly, I had a great support group of 5 kids. They were totally supportive.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>Aunt Amanda? Ummm, don't you think you should wait for Uncle Stevie to do that? </i>(From Chunkey Monkey. Geez, nephew! Do you know how many time I wiped your biscuits?!?)</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>Mom, do you even know where that goes? </i>(From Little Man. He's grounded for life.)</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>Mommy, you are the smartest worker lady ever! </i>(From Little Miss. She is now my favorite child.)</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Well, it just goes to show the boys that I am awesome, and Little Miss now believes she can conquer the world as a girl. As long as she's armed with an allen wrench. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
As we speak Chubby Cheekers is snoozing in that bed and nothing has fallen apart. Again, I offer my services for hire!</div>
amanda torreshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08112448562735829311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5059285937433769130.post-4016293707445136392014-08-05T06:30:00.000-05:002014-08-05T06:30:00.964-05:00Consumed: An UpdateSo my first attempt at inviting Amy to church was unsuccessful. I wasn't able to get a hold of her despite a few messages. She did tell me the last time we were in person that she can't see who calls on her phone. So any phone message I left her may have gone unbeknownst to her.<br />
<br />
Despite my sinking heart, I know my time is not lost with her. All I know is if I don't do my part to seek her out, I'm not sure anyone else will. She may not see the worth in herself, but I see her worth. Which brings me to my crazy Sunday afternoon...<br />
<br />
Sunday afternoon just sitting around cleaning and organizing and relaxing wasn't sitting well. My mom and I decided to see if Amy was at our normal meeting spot. I had a few things to give her and more importantly, I wanted to hug her neck. She wasn't anywhere to be found. None of our friends were. Homeless people? Yes. But none that we have built relationships with. We'll try again next week and keep trying until our next outreach on August 24th. Ever since February, when we first met Amy, she has come to the outreach and makes sure she doesn't leave until she finds my mom or myself. I will see her again. She still consumes me, but I know have a new obsession.<br />
<br />
Here's what has consumed me since Sunday...<br />
<br />
We drove passed at least 50 homeless people, mostly men, hanging on the street. A few groups here, a few more there, and some sitting by themselves about every few blocks. Every few blocks there were also people going about their day seemingly oblivious to these men. So busy with their own day or their own uncomfortableness that they cannot even make eye contact.<br />
<br />
When did we become so desensitized that we fail to see people as people? They are not scum of the earth. Some may have done scummy things, but we are not our mistakes. I try to remember that when looking at people now. You know that whole, 'Don't Judge a Book By It's Cover' thing? At the very least, what harm is there in simply acknowledging people?<br />
<br />
If I can ask one thing of you, acknowledge those around you. Be so consumed with making meaningful contact with people that your personal agenda becomes secondary. You will be blessed for it. And with that, I have two stories to share with you. One from our church, and the other about Dwayne. Both are touching. Both will leave you looking at how you go about your day differently, AND how you see people differently.<br />
<br />
Please, please, please take time to watch the video and then read Dwayne's story.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://vimeo.com/102036900">Chris' Story </a></div>
<i>Click the link to watch the video. It is amazing how much you become consumed when you walk in the attitude of awareness; being open and available to opportunities to help others. It can be something as simple as what happens in this story.</i><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://brandymccombs.com/blog/2014/08/04/meet-dwayne-our-stl234-patron-of-the-month/">Dwayne's Story</a></div>
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<img alt="http://brandymccombs.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/dwaynejuly2014.jpg" class="shrinkToFit decoded" src="http://brandymccombs.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/dwaynejuly2014.jpg" height="200" width="133" /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> {photo credit: Jenny Thomas}</i></div>
<i>I want you to look long and hard at Dwayne's photo before you read the story and think, "If this man passed me by, what would I think of him?" I can be real honest with you. A year ago, I would have been sad for him, but judgmental and uncomfortable. Now, I see his heart. It is beautiful.</i> amanda torreshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08112448562735829311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5059285937433769130.post-11547433329901658902014-08-04T06:30:00.000-05:002015-08-28T22:36:01.024-05:00And The Flood Gates Opened...<i>This is not a 'please send compliments my way' post.</i> <i>Just some real feelings that were stinky. If it happens to me, maybe it's happened to you. I hope you can find some encouragement from my stinky feelings. At the very least, you are NOT alone!</i><br />
<br />
It's been 23 weeks this baby has been growing with me. She is moving and more active everyday. This last experience of life in me has been amazing and I truly appreciate it. So when I found myself all emotional over the way clothing fits, I was totally taken back.<br />
<br />
<i> </i><br />
Generally speaking, I am not a super emotional person. I can contain tears on most issues. I have never ever cried about my weight as an adult. There are times I dislike parts of my body. There are things I work to change and things I want to change that diet and exercise can't fix. Like those nasty spider veins! They drive me nuts. My right leg could seriously be mistaken for a 90 year old woman.<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<img src="http://www.nazveincenter.com/images/vein-problems/3-Spider-Veins-Before.jpg" height="279" id="irc_mi" style="margin-top: 76px;" width="350" /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
{See what I mean??? I'm kidding. Not my real leg, but close!}</div>
<br />
<br />
Not the point. The point is, I don't obsess over my body. It's my shell. I try to take care of it, but my identity is not wrapped up in it.<br />
<br />
Again, this is why I was SO caught off guard.<br />
<br />
Yesterday, I went to put on my usual workout shorts and t-shirt (you know, my Mom Uniform), and I had to double check that I didn't have on biker shorts.<br />
<br />
<i>What. The. Heck???</i><br />
<br />
They were my go-to, most favorite, well-loved Lulu shorts. Now they will work great if I were going on a long bike ride. We're talking suction cup fit!<br />
<br />
<i>Tears.</i><br />
<br />
The tears were flowing over clothing. I went to put on another pair of shorts. Too tight. At this point I flopped on the bed and cried like a big baby. I wasn't even sure why. So I cried some more for crying over such a trivial issue.<br />
<br />
Here's my thoughts on the issue...<br />
<br />
After having Micah, I thought we were finished with our family. I worked hard in diet and exercise to get back to the shape I wanted. I don't think I have ever been in that great of shape. Life was great physically.<br />
<br />
During this pregnancy, I have worked out hard and fairly diligently. I am way more conscience of my eating and feel great. However, I am at the point where I pack on the weight. In my mind, it is disheartening. This leads to the crying event.<br />
<br />
My poor husband walks in and finds me a complete mess. I'm sure he thought something tragic happened. I never cry like that. When he found out why I was crying, I'm sure he was ready to check me into the looney bin. I was ready to check myself in.<br />
<br />
The reason why I share this with you is because I know I'm not alone here. We all have times where we feel less than us. It's a lie. We are never less than us. We are more. We are greater with Him. With my stinky, no good, feeling sorry for myself attitude, I had some decisions to make.<br />
<br />
First off, I need to purchase some clothes to get me over the hump. I've been struggling with spending money on clothing I will wear for only a few months. Instead, I have to realize I'm investing in minimizing frustration and then using those clothes to bless someone else later.<br />
<br />
Secondly, I needed a reminder of what God says about me. Despite the frustration of a changing body God has some very specific things to say about me. None of which have anything to do with whether or not I fit in my Lulu shorts. In fact He says I am completely whole physically, mentally, and emotionally. Not because of what I have done, but because of what Christ has done for me. <i>Good reminder.</i><br />
<br />
And lastly, there are some choices I am making that would result in smaller thighs and butt. It's called, "Don't eat the cookies late at night." Somehow, I hold it together all day with great eating and then, every once in a while, cookies come running to me with their great friend milk. That needs to stop. Nothing is wrong with cookies and milk every once in a while, but obviously it's causing some issues with how I see myself. If my mental state is affected by my food choices, then I really need to evaluate what's important.<br />
<br />
So there's my crazy for today! Feel free to run from me in public. My issues may rub off on you!<br />
<br />
Seriously, though. Thanks for listening. This is totally my therapy zone to process my issues...for the world to read...amanda torreshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08112448562735829311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5059285937433769130.post-87950024472751050912014-07-29T14:52:00.003-05:002014-07-29T14:52:43.540-05:00Consumed and BrokenDoes that not sound like the most depressing title ever? It's totally not, but then again it's a truth. This past week has been a growing season. An emotional 'I Must Be Seriously Pregnant' growing season.<br />
<br />
A prime example is me fighting back tears most of the morning while running errands. Here's why...<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<img alt="" class="spotlight hidden_elem" height="400" src="https://fbcdn-sphotos-e-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xaf1/t1.0-9/p552x414/10403404_10152678937617975_2219094145478589857_n.jpg" width="400" /> </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
You see all those red dots? They stand for someone who needs life change. True life change that comes from the purest love. God's love. Last night we walked through our sections and prayed over the names of people. The hardest hit one...My Marriage. Someone, who sat very near to us, came to church for hope. Hope for their marriage. I sat my big 'ol rear right in that chair and cried and prayed.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
The truth is we get so selfish in our own worlds, in our own circumstances, in our own bubbles, in our own circle of friends, in our own families...we fail to recognize or even ASK ourselves into someone else's world.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
This very idea of where I stand in selfishness has consumed me, and I am broken about it. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
For months we have served at Tulsa Homeless Outreach. We have built relationships with certain individuals. We know their struggles. We know their history. We know their shames. We know their needs. We help fill their immediate needs. We pray with them. We leave. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Up until now, that has been my level of comfort. Then there's that nudge. <i> </i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>More. Do more. This is just the beginning.</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Ummmm, yeah. Actually, I'm good right here. Right here in the arena of my own selfish comfort zone. I mean, isn't meeting basic needs enough? That other stuff is a messy job. Isn't there someone more qualified to do <i>that </i>part? </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
So here's where it got messy for me.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Our calling this weekend was to fill our personal seats in church with someone who needs it. Immediately the name Amy popped into my mind. I know a gazillion Amy's. I'm going down the list like roll call on the first day of school and none are settling. By this point I'm totally frustrated at what stinkin' Amy I am supposed to get in touch with. Ahhhhhhhhh!!! (Such the patient spirit, I know!)</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Then it hits me. Amy, mother of 6. All of which are dispersed throughout OK's foster care. Amy, drug addict who put down the needle a few months ago, but still has an addiction to meth. Amy, who is on and off the streets. Amy, who has sought out the help of my mother and myself. Amy, who is walking into churches for help and being turned away.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
This. Is. Messy. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Where is my back up team for help?</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Answer: <i>Greater is He who is in me, than in the world.</i> -1 John 4:4</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Yep, that's the answer I got. Twice. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
So out of my comfort zone I went to ask Amy to be my personal guest at church. She was super responsive. In asking what she needed to feel comfortable in church she said, "A bra." So bra shopping I went today. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
(SIDE STORY: I love my own precious offspring made note that I didn't have boobies to fit into something that big when I was choosing one I thought she'd like and then AGAIN the next aisle over. Yeah, those kids are PRECIOUS! Explaining why I was purchasing a bra for someone else was also interesting.) </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
My next step is figuring out how to get Amy to church. Where is a safe place to meet her and what other companion is going with me to pick her up? Although, I know I am the person she knows and trusts to get her to church, I still have a responsibility to protect my own children. My kids know Amy fairly well, but riding in a car right now with her is not something we are ready to expose our kids to just yet. They need some protection and filter right now. So Steven will be taking the kids in one car and I will be picking up Amy in another. I know these details will iron out, but do you see where I am in the mess? </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
It's a beautiful mess, but a mess. And here's what I know. Her 6 kids are counting on someone to be a liaison with their mother. Someone to get her to the place where she can have an intimate relationship with God. Which is the only way her life will change for good and change the life for her children. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Amy is hungry for change, but trying to do it on her own on the streets. I'll keep you posted on this journey, but I wanted you to know why there has been an absence. It's been an emotional week. Wonderful, but emotional. So if you catch me crying in public, now you know why. I'm only half crazy this time around! </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
amanda torreshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08112448562735829311noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5059285937433769130.post-37908633630764517042014-07-21T06:30:00.000-05:002014-07-21T06:30:02.925-05:00Menu Monday Postponed...Camp Is HERE!Today is the day I drive my oldest wittle bitty baby to church to be hauled off to church camp. Is he concerned about being homesick? NOPE! He's all about his friends and fun and Jesus. I really can't ask for much more from him. He's going to have an awesome week. I am proud of his courageous and brave mindset, but that doesn't mean I won't miss him to pieces.<br />
<br />
His sister has already been a bawl bag for the last day. It's hitting her the hardest that he is leaving. They are so close. A little shy of 2 years apart these two know nothing other than life with each other. Love their sibling relationship.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<img alt="" class="spotlight hidden_elem" src="https://fbcdn-sphotos-d-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpf1/t1.0-9/p280x280/10530872_10152661715047975_8220589498565662848_n.jpg" /></div>
amanda torreshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08112448562735829311noreply@blogger.com0