Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Thankful: A Heart Issue

It's the month.  The month where everyone posts one thing they are thankful for daily.  I don't do it.  I'm thankful, but I don't Facebook reflect it everyday.  I enjoy reading others thoughts, but I don't share mine.  Then I think, "Man, I'm a selfish stinky non-thankful person." 

Seriously, why must I feel the need to find one more irrelevant thing to beat myself up about?  Really, Amanda?  Really?  Is this a heart issue or a comparison issue?  Probably more for comparison, but just in case I'm battling a heart issue I wanted to reflect on what I am thankful for in my life.

So here I am going over what I'm thankful for in ONE big post, and I know you all are so thankful for it...

I'm thankful that everyday I wake up to the same man, and that very man loves me despite all some of my annoying qualities. 

I am thankful I have first world problems.  There is never a day I wake up and fear for my life.  I don't fear if my home will be ransacked and my children ripped from my arms.  I don't fear if we will become deathly ill from lack of sanitary water.  I don't fear preventable diseases.  I don't fear the evil many others face.

I am thankful for books and the  people who wrote them.  I used to be a big fiction reader.  As of late I have a list of books sitting on my bedside table that are more in the realm of self-development.  I admire the people who took hours of their lives to devote concentration and discipline so that I may read them and internalize the information to develop a better version of myself. 

In fact, I have one book Left to Tell that I am honestly not sure if I am courageous enough to read.  I am so afraid of reading the book because it might require an emotion to be touched that I'm not sure if I'm ready to go there.  I am thankful that this is one of my biggest struggles right now.  Simply picking up a book.

I am thankful for my children.  They have made me better.  They have taught me lessons in serving that I could have never received outside of motherhood.  Those three Torres kids hold me accountable for walking in love and demonstrating love even when I feel like ripping someone's head off. (Yeah, I have some ugly moments).

I am thankful when I have ugly moments I have the opportunity to redeem myself.  I am surrounded by loving friends and family who give me grace and second chances.  I have a God who sees me as He made me and sees me where He wants me.  I am thankful for His patience as I work to get there.

I am thankful for each person who has spoken into my life.  For each season lessons have been learned and trials have been faced, but those around me have taught me many lessons on what it means to continue to grow, forgive, love, and laugh.

I am thankful for my children's friends.  They have chosen kids to be in their lives that will speak life into them and not suck it out.  I am thankful my church spends countless hours mastering the way to teach children how to make friends that are worth having.

I am thankful for Disney World my kids' school, their teachers, and other parents in the school.  Never EVER have I witnessed a place like where my kids are during the week.  It is truly the Disney World of education.

I am thankful for my Arbonne business. It has required me to step outside of myself, focus on others, and paint a bigger vision for my family's ability to serve those who cannot serve themselves.  It has required me to grow spiritually, professionally, and personally.  I like the new version of me and I'm thankful for who I will become along the way.

You know, it's not quite 30 thankful things but, it's from my heart.  I am thankful for so much more but it would be never ending. 

And simply because no post is fun without a picture, I leave you with Chubby Cheekers.  Because, darn it, I'm thankful for my crazy strong genes.  Who would have ever thought I'd have a mini WHITE version of Steven Torres!

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