When You Know You Shouldn't Laugh

My mind has been wondering lately.  And let me tell you, that's a very scary thing.  In fact, it's been wondering back to the days when I was a teacher (Okay, so not that long ago, but it sure feels like it!).  With all this chaotic mind wondering going on, I figured I'd better start writing this stuff down before it's too late (i.e. before I forget it). 

You're probably wondering how this affects you as a reader.  Well, it just means you are going to have to endure posts all about the happenings of public school teacher.  Some funny, some sad, some scary, and some down right unbelievable.  Today, we'll start with the funny...

The year, 2002.  My very first year as a teacher.  I loved that class.  I had not a clue what I was doing (four years of college cannot possibly prepare you for twenty-five fourth graders), but I loved those kids.  Still do!  It was right after recess, and the class was silent.  Let's just spend some time reflecting on that word a moment.

Silent (sahy-luhnt)-making no sound; quiet; still

If you have ever been in a room for any period of time with a bunch of kids, you know this is virtually impossible.  However, it happened on this day.  Every single kid was reading, and it was S-I-L-E-N-T.  Sitting at my desk mentally patting myself on the back, it happened.  Little Johnny (not his real name of course) goes to prop his feet up on his desk, leans back in his chair, and rips the loudest bodily function that could ever come out of a little boy.  Of course the silence was replaced by obstreperous laughter, but not from this teacher.  No way.  I wasn't going to laugh and humiliate this kid anymore than he had to be already.  So I very calmly told the class, "Now guys, this happens to everyone.  Let's just get back to reading and leave Little Johnny alone."  I really felt like I deserved an Academy Award for that performance, because I really wanted to fall over, slap my knee, and laugh until I peed my pants.  But, no.  I was professional.  Until...

Little Johnny (who has a horrendous speech impedement) says, "I can't beweive I just fawted in fwont of the hoe class!"  (Translation: I can't believe I just farted in front of the whole class.)  That was all it took.  I lost it.  I couldn't stop laughing.  Tears rolling, falling over, slapping my knee laughing.  Thank goodness I didn't pee my pants (but, it was a close call). 

I'm not really sure what happened after that because the laughter went on for so long, but it goes down in history as one of my all time funniest moments as a teacher.  As for Little Johnny, he'll be a Senior next year, and you'd better believe I'll bring that up at the Senior breakfast!  Poor guy.