It hurts.
This fast pace, get it done quick, stop to compare to your neighbor world we live in, it messes with you. We have access to so much, at all times. Access to others like no one other time in history. The information and the successes of others in our face here and there and everywhere. Just when you think you are gaining ground, you look to the side and comparably, you're not anywhere. People seemingly passing you by...
It hurts.
Certainly, you have been here. A life event hits. On the outside those you see are moving forward, receiving blessing, laughing and enjoying life. Then, there's you. Sitting. Stuck. You are not good enough. You do not measure up. No one believes in you. You don't fit the part. All your shortcomings. All your failures. It's all so much to hold onto and carry on with life. Those lies.
It hurts.
The sucky part of this is we suffer through this alone. We entertain the idea that no one, and I mean NO ONE, can possibly understand your misery, your struggle, your hurt. And most likely, they can't.
Those suggestions sent by Satan, they have meaning. Those attacks, they mean something too. Their sole purpose is to disarm your life. Lock up your gifts. Paralyze you with fears and worthlessness. They are all lies. How do you even free yourself from this?
You don't. Single-handedly there is nothing in your own power that can rid you of this pain. Only a complete surrender can free you. The acceptance that Jesus never intended us to do this alone. He was the one who took all your hurts, pain, suffering so we could have a Savior who KNEW pain. A Savior who knows our pain and offers the freedom from it. He is the only author of complete healing. He is the truth behind all lies. He sets you free. Gives you rest. Heals all wounds. He offers correction without condemning. He is the gentle whisper of love and light and hope.
He tells you that you are not only enough, but you are called. You have purpose. You have love. You are life. You are wonderfully made. Hand-crafted. One of kind. It's only when you accept THIS truth that the screaming lies in your head, begin to dull down to an inside voice and then a whisper and then a nothing. You learn to dismiss those lies and pick up truth. You hold onto it. You speak it over your life. Then you come to a day, that you were promised, when you look back on those attacks and see your beautiful Savior was there the whole time. You see the only real, true love a person has ever been offered. And you listen to This is Me from The Greatest Showman and you recognize that God's healing resounds so much in the song. Bumps and bruises are not so bad when a Savior has already gone before.
And those hurts. They soften.
I spend time writing this to you because there are times you draw close to God for some pruning and the Enemy is clipping right at your heels. My refuge is only found in the quietness of His Voice, His Word and His People who just love. If you read this and think, "I need freedom," I want to pray for you. I want you to know that you are not alone. He is proven to hold His Word true and it will not come back void.
Scripture I have stood on during a trial:
But I trust in your unfailing love. I will rejoice because you have rescued me. (Psalm 13:5-6)
If you cling to your life, you will lose it, but if you give up your life for me, you will find it. (Matthew 10:39)
Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you. (Psalm 9:10)
You are a shield around me, O Lord, you bestow glory on me and lift up my head. To the Lord I cry aloud, and he answers me from his holy hill. I lie down and sleep; I wake again because the Lord sustains me. (Psalm 3:3-5)
...so is my word that goes out from my nouth: It will not return to me empty, but it will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it. (Isaiah 55:11)
